Much-Maligned & Now “Word of the Year,” Dumpster Fire Speaks Out
After a year of derision in the press followed by accolades and elevation to become “2016’s word of the year,” Fred, a dumpster fire originally from New Jersey but now living behind the Dolby Theater in Hollywood, has released a statement through its press office:
The last year has been one of the hardest years of my life. The highs and lows, the brilliant pyrotechnics, hyperbole and overuse all led me to a very dark place. I was afraid to let my heat out, afraid of permitting my embers to grow to flames, afraid that the flames would amplify the stink of me and endanger other people and dumpsters around me. Put simply, I was afraid of being what I was.
Newscasters, bloggers, journalists and civilians alike had repeatedly invoked me without my consent. They called me “out of control” and used me to refer to things that were mismanaged and poorly handled. On the street, people called me “liar, liar” because my dumpster was on fire. And worst of all, I became the metaphor for the entire Presidential campaign.
People ogled me on the internet, gif’ing me into memedom, over ten million times. I’m a dumpster who likes my privacy, or I would have chosen a more prominent Hollywood alley to live in. I didn’t ask for this attention — this was an assault on my privacy, a violation of my dumpster Bill of Rights. And it made me feel like garbage. Hot, flaming garbage.
Once my dumpster brought all the trash to the yard, but now there was trash everywhere. The world was the yard. How was I supposed to keep up with the level of political excrement that the world kept on producing? I even considered checking into a facility for exhaustion.
But then, the wind shifted, and I could smell the change in the air. When the American Dialect Society named me “Word of the Year,” it was a total surprise. (I felt like Matt Damon winning Best Actor in a Musical or Comedy for a film that was neither a musical or a comedy.) First of all, I’m not a word. I’m a thing — with my two words, I thought I’d only be eligible to be nominated in the “Phrase of the Year” category. But this honor made me aware of how important I’ve become to you, the American public, in this year that — without me, and with all due respect to my noble competitor, “shitshow” — would have lacked the vocabulary to describe what was happening in America:
“As 2016 unfolded, many people latched on to dumpster fire as a colorful, evocative expression to verbalize their feelings that the year was shaping up to be a catastrophic one,” said Ben Zimmer, a sociolinguist who presided over the vote. It is a term the people apparently turn to, he added, “in pessimistic times.”
Where there was no word or term to describe things, you turned to me to give shape to your fears. When facing something that seems catastrophic, you turned to me to help you verbalize your feelings. In pessimistic times, you turned to me for support, and I was here for you.
Thank you, American Dialect Society, for elevating my purpose, bringing my life meaning, and spreading the sweet smell of my true self to people the world over.
And thank you, half of America, for ensuring that I will remain relevant — I look forward to serving you in the years ahead.
