My ̶S̶h̶a̶Co-rona
“In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded.”
― Terry Pratchett, Lords and Ladies
Life’s a trial … and then they find you guilty.
Faced with the terrifying loneliness of that prospect, we tell ourselves stories … shadowplays, flickering and false, on the cave walls of our minds, to comfort our selves in the cold and the dark, whilst we pray to the spirit of hope for another way, another day … that we might find peace at last, sure of our place and purpose in the World — we want someone to hold our hand as we wait for the verdict.
https://whereangelsfeartotread.medium.com/abandon-ship-382bb3c71a5b
We can’t even cope with the Present, let alone the eternal void of death everlasting. Every day we tell ourselves fables to render the terrifying reality of a cold, uncaring universe bearable.
We tell ourselves and each other faerie tales
Because the stark truth of the matter is, nobody is in charge
There is no plan
No higher plane
No conspiracy
It’s a dog eat dog world out there
And you aren’t even guaranteed to be able to keep what you kill … just what you can hang onto
And that terrifies people.
I am not a religious person.
Neither, however, am I an atheist.
Take Stephen Fry’s tirade:
“I would say: ‘bone cancer in children? What’s that about?’
“How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault? It’s not right. It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain?”
“Because the God who created this universe, if it was created by God, is quite clearly a maniac, utter maniac. Totally selfish. We have to spend our life on our knees thanking him?! What kind of god would do that?”
“Yes, the world is very splendid but it also has in it insects whose whole lifecycle is to burrow into the eyes of children and make them blind. They eat outwards from the eyes. Why? Why did you do that to us? You could easily have made a creation in which that didn’t exist. It is simply not acceptable.
“It’s perfectly apparent that he is monstrous. Utterly monstrous and deserves no respect whatsoever. The moment you banish him, life becomes simpler, purer, cleaner, more worth living in my opinion.”“How dare you create a world in which there is such misery that is not our fault? It’s not right.
“It’s utterly, utterly evil. Why should I respect a capricious, mean-minded, stupid God who creates a world which is so full of injustice and pain?
What?
but it also has in it insects whose whole lifecycle is to burrow into the eyes of children and make them blind. They eat outwards from the eyes. Why? Why did you do that to us?
Why shouldn’t he?
Why should God give a tinker’s curse about human babies above any other creature’s offspring? What makes us special? What if God’s true love is rocks? What if God looks at rocks and just loves the way they hold the firmament together? What if He loves space and the way it means there is somewhere for everything else to exist? What if God looks at a His game of Sim Life and thinks to himself “I should’ve stuck to Sim Earth — all these lifeforms are just ruining everything.”
And besides … the insects’ lifecycle isn’t “to burrow into the eyes of children and make them blind” it’s to burrow into animals’ eyes and then eat outwards — his ‘argument’ (and I’m being charitable in terming it such) is irrational.
And it isn’t the result of intelligent design either … they weren’t made that way, they evolved that way. Seriously, Stephen, get over yourself … it isn’t all about you — God doesn’t simply not want you for a sunbeam, nor does he not care about you personally, he doesn’t even know you exist … get over it.
What’s that? God, “if he exists” knows all and cares for every one of us?
Oh, where’d you hear that, Stephen?
The Bible, was it? Written by human beings. Well that’s totally unbiased, isn’t it? Completely reliable.
Jesus wept (and is it any wonder either?)
Fry’s objection is no more than the petulant wailing of the developmentally arrested that they be treated as God’s little darling or else they’re going to pout and sulk and be an atheist, so there — then God’ll be sorry!
It’s intellectually destitute. The Universe is the way it is for reasons we do not (yet) understand. That we might prefer that it be other than it is … more tailored to our selfish wants and desires … is neither here nor there, for the fact that it isn’t is not even an argument against Intelligent Design, simply a result of it not being designed for us.
Furthermore, his position is dishonest. The absence of evidence is not evidence of the absence. Atheism is an article of Faith.
No true scientist, in the Popperian tradition, would have any truck with any debate involving the existence of a god or gods, for it is a scientifically intractable proposition and Science has … can have … nothing to say on the matter either way around.
Therefore, those individuals making such claims aren’t scientists but charlatans purporting to be scientists — at best they are innocently/unintentionally so due to their poor grasp of the nature of the Scientific Method, but such is nevertheless what they are.
The only viable position on the matter for a true (Popperian) scientist is that of agnostic — the existence of a god or gods is unproven and, furthermore, unprovable by Science. That is to say, even incontrovertible evidence of the existence of such god(s) would be a matter of fact rather than Science per se, as the existence of god(s) cannot be proven by Science but merely by their sui generis presence — ironically (like Love, the effects of which are measurable, the existence of which, however, is not), the presence of something is not scientific proof of its existence.
And I have no time for Faith. It’s for the weak and feeble-minded who must believe in something, even if it’s only nothing … because they have neither the intellect nor the courage to deal with the unknown — it’s for those who haven’t progressed beyond adolescent rejection of the parent figure: …“you’re not the god of me, I’m not afraid of you” … and secretly sleep with a blankey in the dark.
Agnosticism is the only logically justifiable standpoint and, really, I figure the clue to the matter is in the word ‘afterlife’ — as in, I’ll find out (or not, as the case may be) after Life.
Moreover … quite apart from the decidedly more satisfying aspect of the argument that “a big boy did it and ran away” insofar as it does at least have a closure that “In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded” not only doesn’t but cannot by virtue of its inability to answer the questions of “What started the first Big Bang?” and “If the Universe is infinite, what’s it expanding into?” … it just strikes me as a good idea to hedge my bets, just in case — after all, it doesn’t matter whether you believe in God if He believes in you, does it?
Which leads us to the thorny issue of SARS-CoV-2/Covid-19/Novel Coronavirus/The Rona/call it what you like.
Is it a global hoax perpetrated by the Rothschilds and Illuminati as part of their hidden agenda to create a New World Order?
No.
Not unless you are such a simpleton that you represent a danger to not only yourself but the rest of the World by virtue of your being so easily radicalised and should, therefore, be rounded up, shaved, neutered and destroyed without delay ¹.
But, let’s entertain, for the moment, the possibility that the loons on the ̶I̶n̶f̶o̶r̶m̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶S̶u̶p̶e̶r̶-̶d̶r̶a̶i̶n̶a̶g̶e̶ ̶C̶o̶n̶d̶u̶i̶t̶ Interwebz should be accorded a hearing rather than simply laughed all the way to the asylum. Let’s just imagine that there might, possibly, be a question to be answered as to whether it could be a hoax. What should we do about that?
Well, it’s a bit like global warming, isn’t it?
What should we do about global warming?
What if it isn’t real? What if it’s a hoax?
Okay … the options are that it’s real or not and that we do something or we don’t.
So, what are the potential outcomes?
Okay then …
If it’s a hoax, it doesn’t matter what we do … we all survive.
If we do something, it doesn’t matter whether it’s real or not … we might survive.
If it’s real and we do nothing, however … we all die.
Now, there’s no guarantee that if we do anything, we will necessarily survive but, if we do nothing then, at best, there’s only a 50% chance we will — and I wouldn’t risk my loved one’s lives on a 50/50 bet … would you?
Alright … what about Covid-19?
—
¹ Squeal like a toddler about your ‘rights’.
So … the same question arises: how retarded are you?
Given, therefore, that … much like God … it doesn’t matter whether you believe in the virus but whether it believes in itself, let’s take a look at the measures being suggested in the UK.
Did you not know that covid — 19 is the most intelligent virus ever?
It has not only got a watch ,and a calender ,but also a tape measure , as if you stay 2 metres apart it will ignore you ,but if you step a little closer , it will grab you.
It keeps away from W H Smiths , supermarkets and all big companies , only visits independent small businesses .. Mc Donalds gets a free pass ,but it dislikes cafes, restaurants ,and pubs, and places of worship, It is very selective , but it has very graciously decided to have a rest over Xmas , so we may enjoy some time with family and friends ,then it will inform this government of it’s next plan of attack— Daisymay Brown18 Nov 2020 4:28PM
I have to say that I’m shocked at the low quality of the BTL comments. Time was when the Daily Telegraph was regarded as an almost highbrow paper not altogether dissimilar in quality to The Times ².
I imagine that Daisymay Brown, 18th Duke of The Arse End of Nowhere, might (like 99% of the others in the BTL comments) be frustrated that the government won’t follow expert advice, because Brexit means people have had enough of expert epidemiologists who are also expert economists with time to comment on the Daily Telegraph rather than penning articles for respected journals in both fields. But s/he might, on the other hand, be being sarcastic for the same reasons I would be witheringly scornful and has, furthermore, highlighted some fundamental truths either way around.
Up to potentially twenty members of three households may come together and share their germs in an enclosed space (which include those of the ‘social bubbles’ in which they normally operate, along with those of any colleagues with whom they have been obliged to work through the pandemic and those of members of the public with whom they have had daily contact).
Who … apart from the kind of narcissistic horror most people would rather not see for Christmas actually, despite their being a ‘beloved’ relative … could possibly imagine that approach to be an even remotely good idea?
And as for current/future measures:
Pubs, bars and restaurants must close, ̶a̶l̶t̶h̶o̶u̶g̶h̶ ̶f̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶t̶a̶k̶e̶a̶w̶a̶y̶s̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶d̶e̶l̶i̶v̶e̶r̶i̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶p̶e̶r̶m̶i̶t̶t̶e̶d̶ except for when they mustn’t.
A ban on the mixing of households, except for ̶s̶u̶p̶p̶o̶r̶t̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶c̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶s̶o̶n̶s̶ nursery/school classes of forty-plus kids from twenty-plus households — probably more like forty households … and their social bubbles … and the social bubbles of the other fifty-to-hundred families living in the same block, sharing the same hallways and lifts/elevators.
A restriction on travel, including outbound international travel (except for ̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ when there isn’t). Oh, and there’s to be no quarantine for those visiting for business purposes either, apparently — they can come and go as they please.
Staying at home to be encouraged except for ̶e̶d̶u̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶,̶ ̶w̶o̶r̶k̶ ̶(̶i̶f̶ ̶i̶m̶p̶o̶s̶s̶i̶b̶l̶e̶ ̶f̶r̶o̶m̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶)̶,̶ ̶m̶e̶d̶i̶c̶a̶l̶ ̶r̶e̶a̶s̶o̶n̶s̶,̶ ̶s̶h̶o̶p̶p̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶g̶o̶o̶d̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶e̶s̶s̶e̶n̶t̶i̶a̶l̶s̶,̶ ̶c̶a̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶o̶r̶ ̶e̶x̶e̶r̶c̶i̶s̶e̶ those carrying on as thought Covid-19 didn’t exist.
Health Minister Nadine Dorries ̶h̶a̶s̶ ̶a̶l̶s̶o̶ ̶s̶a̶i̶d̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶r̶e̶n̶ ̶u̶n̶d̶e̶r̶ ̶s̶c̶h̶o̶o̶l̶ ̶a̶g̶e̶ ̶w̶h̶o̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶p̶a̶r̶e̶n̶t̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶w̶a̶r̶d̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶m̶i̶t̶ ̶o̶n̶ ̶t̶w̶o̶ ̶p̶e̶o̶p̶l̶e̶ ̶m̶e̶e̶t̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶o̶u̶t̶s̶i̶d̶e̶ can’t count and/or doesn’t understand illness, children or transmission.
Children under the age of 18 are allowed to travel between their parents’ homes if they are separated, enabling both parents to see their children and split childcare duties … because divorced/separated people can’t catch each others’ illnesses by way of someone bearing half of each of their respective DNA.
The current restrictions will end on December 2, meaning there will be twenty-eight days of … of … erm … five days … or something — is this Nadine Dorries’ idea?
Oh, right … lockdown will be replaced by a new harsher three-tier system.
Let’s take a look then:
Speaking to MPs on November 23, Mr Johnson said: “From next Wednesday, people will be able to leave their home for any reason”, and the lockdown measures will not be renewed
̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶P̶r̶i̶m̶e̶ ̶M̶i̶n̶i̶s̶t̶e̶r̶’̶s̶ ̶”̶C̶o̶v̶i̶d̶ ̶w̶i̶n̶t̶e̶r̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶n̶”̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶p̶l̶a̶c̶e̶ ̶m̶o̶r̶e̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶a̶s̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶i̶g̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶i̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶e̶n̶s̶u̶r̶e̶ ̶f̶u̶r̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ ̶r̶e̶s̶t̶r̶i̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶n̶o̶t̶ ̶n̶e̶e̶d̶e̶d̶.̶
̶W̶h̶i̶l̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶l̶o̶c̶a̶l̶ ̶m̶e̶a̶s̶u̶r̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶s̶i̶m̶i̶l̶a̶r̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶o̶s̶e̶ ̶i̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶p̶r̶e̶v̶i̶o̶u̶s̶ ̶s̶y̶s̶t̶e̶m̶,̶ ̶s̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶t̶i̶e̶r̶s̶ ̶w̶i̶l̶l̶ ̶b̶e̶ ̶s̶t̶r̶e̶n̶g̶t̶h̶e̶n̶e̶d̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶s̶a̶f̶e̶g̶u̶a̶r̶d̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶g̶a̶i̶n̶s̶ ̶m̶a̶d̶e̶ ̶d̶u̶r̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶n̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶a̶l̶ ̶l̶o̶c̶k̶d̶o̶w̶n̶. except for when they are.
Non-essential shops will open in all three tiers, for no good reason — unless, of course, there’s something about the word ‘non-essential’ that eludes me and means that it’s essential that non-essential shops remain open (I don’t know, maybe ‘non-essential’ is an epidemiological term).
Pubs and restaurants will only be allowed to offer takeaways in Tier 3 and must serve food with drinks in Tier 2 … because you can’t catch an illness if you eat — not even, maskless, in a room full of strangers with unknown daily routines, who normally present unknown risks to your health when you simply stand near them with masks on.
The hospitality curfew will also be relaxed by one hour, to 11pm, to allow for final orders to be made at 10pm … which is tautological — after all, they could’ve made it 1am to allow last orders at midnight … or 6am, for final orders made at 5am … or twenty-four hours for orders made any time of day (which makes as much sense as any other arbitrary time picked for no reason other than that it means people can make their final orders an hour before that).
From December 23 to 27, coronavirus [sic] restrictions on household mixing will be lifted in all four home nations, allowing three households to form a Christmas “bubble” together … during which time the virus will be dormant and pose no threat — so, that’s alright.
A No 10 spokesman said: “The Prime Minister and his scientific advisers are clear the virus is still present — and without regional restrictions it could quickly run out of control again before vaccines and mass testing have had an effect” … especially if you allow three households, from different regions, in different tiers, to get together in an enclosed space for five days, after mingling with random strangers in other enclosed spaces (like non-essential shops) for twenty-one days prior to that.
Everything you need to know about the three tier system
Tier 1
Certain businesses selling food or drink on their premises are required to close between 10pm and 5am. Businesses and venues selling food for consumption off the premises can continue to do so after 10pm as long as this is through delivery service, click-and-collect or drive-through … so things remain as they were before Covid ever existed.
Schools, universities and places of worship remain open … because the virus respects the value of education and faith.
Weddings and funerals can go ahead with restrictions on the number of attendees, because … erm … Covid frowns upon big, showy affairs but respects the sanctity of a modest wedding and won’t infect those who are demure and exercise restraint even if one or more of the attendees is infected.
Exercise classes and organised sport can continue to take place outdoors. They will only be permitted indoors if it is possible for people to avoid mixing with people they do not live with or share a support bubble with, or for youth or disability sport … because this is a golden opportunity to rid ourselves of a few of those burdensome youth the government has been twice shamed into feeding during this time of national crisis and also a chance to euthanise the disabled without looking like Nazis — although I thought ‘disabled’ was long since a non-term these days and its use limited to unreformed bigots (mind you, we are talking about the Tory Party).
What is changing?
Nothing.
Tier 2
Alcohol can only be served in hospitality settings as part of a substantial meal, because … haven’t we seen this somewhere before? Ah, yes, that’s right … food is a prophylactic.
Exercise classes and organised sport can continue to take place outdoors. They will only be permitted indoors if it is possible for people to avoid mixing with people they do not live with or share a support bubble with, or for youth or disability sport … because the government really would appreciate it if poor youth and the disabled could see their way to dying out and are only too happy to lend a helping hand in that direction.
People must not meet with anybody outside their household or support bubble in any indoor setting, whether at home or in a public place … which does beg the question of precisely who will be making use of the facilities availed them by non-essential shops and/or eateries offering a substantial meal.
People should aim to reduce the number of journeys they make where possible. If they need to travel, they should walk or cycle where possible, or to plan ahead and avoid busy times and routes on public transport … which is going to be impossible to do if everyone does the same because, if everyone is avoiding busy times, those times won’t be busy, meaning the times they travel instead will be uncommonly busy and the best thing to do would be to travel at a time that would normally be busy … along with everyone else who is having to travel then, because, otherwise, they won’t get to Work on time and will lose their jobs — is it just me or does this all seem increasingly incoherent?
What is changing?
The one-hour extension to the pub curfew applies also to pubs in this tier, with last orders at 10pm and punters needing to leave by 11pm … exactly like it was before the pandemic, except for those places with a longer licence and, as very few places outside major cities ever were open beyond 23:00 to begin with, for the vast majority of places in the nation, it’ll be exactly like it was before any of this happened, so I’m not entirely sure how this measure helps curtail the spread of the disease in any way.
However, there is a slight tightening of restrictions for pubs in this category. Now, only pubs and restaurants that serve substantial food are allowed to remain open. Ah, right, yes, the problem goes away when you serve substantial quantities of food … I forgot.
Even then, only people of the same household can visit and it will be table service only.
Wow! One household on the premises at any one time? That’ll make waiting lists for a table long for even the local chip shop!
Or am I being too literal in my interpretation here and what it means is that any number of random households may sit, maskless, in the premises … but just won’t be allowed to join strangers for dinner by drawing a chair up to the table and elbowing their way in between the kids (like was traditional before the restrictions were imposed)?
Tier 3
Pubs, bars and restaurants will only be able to offer takeaway and delivery services … because, just as you should abstain from sex when you, or your partner, are pregnant (lest you make it twins), you don’t want to sit around eating in a room full of people with Covid-19 lest you give them Covid-19 (making it Double-Covid-19/Covid-38).
Indoor entertainment, hotels and other accommodation will close … because shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted is better than standing there, wringing your hands about how you really should’ve foreseen the inevitable result of allowing them to stay open in the other two tiers — it won’t make any difference, but at least the government will look like its doing something rather than nothing (like it was before, in the other two tiers), which is reassuring (a bit like ‘restoring the feelgood factor’ rather than giving people reason to actually feel good about Life, optics are important).
Wedding receptions are not allowed … but you can ask about funerals.
People must not meet anybody outside their household or support bubble in any indoor or outdoor setting, whether at home or in a public space … so, there’ll be no going to school/university/work for you.
People should try to avoid travelling outside the very high area they are in, or entering a very high area, other than for things like work, education, accessing youth services, to meet caring responsibilities or if they are in transit … unless you do go to school/university/work, of course (in which case, feel free to transit between the zones as though there were no pandemic and never had been).
People should avoid staying overnight in another part of the UK if they are resident in a very high area, or avoid staying overnight in a very high area if they are resident elsewhere … and our next contestant on Mastermind tonight is Nadine Dorries (or someone), specialist subject: The Bleedin’ Obvious.
Let’s have a look at Christmas in a bit more detail, shall we?
Once Christmas bubbles are formed they will be fixed and cannot change at any point according to the new rules, which were agreed at a COBRA meeting.
Bubbles will be able to gather in private homes, go to outdoor public spaces and attend places of worship together but cannot meet up in bars, restaurants or other entertainment venues.
People will still be able to meet others from outside of their Christmas bubble according to the rules in their tier, with support bubbles counted as one household.
So …
Three households will be able to include their respective support bubbles, potentially including their three households … and their support bubbles … meeting with their three households … and support bubbles … and … and … and … not to mention those households that consist of houseshares and, therefore, three or more extended bubbles to begin with.
And they’ll all be able to go and sit in a church with complete strangers, none of whom are in any of each others’ bubbles.
Tough limits on household mixing will be scrapped for the festive break before the country returns to a Tier system.
These new Christmas guidelines will mean that families will be able to have both sets of grandparents to stay.
Other restrictions, including pub closures, are also expected to be relaxed over the five-day holiday.
Rishi Sunak, the Chancellor, is reportedly behind the relaxation of the rules, which will begin several days before Christmas. The hope is to offer people some “normal days” in pubs and restaurants before the holiday.
And this will prevent the spread of an exceedingly infectious airborne, respiratory virus — one so infectious it has resulted in a global pandemic, the like of which was last seen a hundred years ago.
I see.
Cabinet Office minister, Michael Gove said: “The UK-wide agreement reached today will offer hope for families and friends who have made many sacrifices over this difficult year.
What hope?
Exactly?
The hope that behaving in a way that might previously have put the lives of our loved ones at risk won’t do so for five days because it’s Christmas?
“We know that the Christmas period this year will not be normal” …. apart from the fact that it’s going to be pretty much identical to every Christmas each of us has experienced every year before.
“In coming to this agreement, we have listened to scientific and clinical advice on how best to minimise the risk and” … produced a set of regulatory guidelines that, with the best will in the World, will do nothing of the sort (and possibly even achieve the exact opposite).
However, the severity of the restrictions in the run-up to December 23 will depend on how successful the current lockdown proves to be when it ends on December 2 … because, rather than five days of ‘freedom’, people will be given a further twenty-one such days before that as well — which, if you’ve had occasion to observe their behaviour over the course of the last lockdown …. during which they have stood around in enclosed, public spaces, wandered in and out of shops, maskless (or effectively so, by wearing their mask below the nose) … will, almost certainly prove to be as successful as a chocolate chastity belt. Moreover, how are the government going to assess how to alter the severity of the restrictions across the nation during a twenty-one day period even with a test and trace system (which we don’t have)? They aren’t, are they? It’s just BS.
I can’t take it any more … the inanity and cognitive dissonance just goes on and on — I’m sure you can see the obvious flaws in it.
Look, it’s really very simple:
Either there is a virus or there isn’t, but … even if you aren’t a barely even functionally illiterate halfwit (you are, by the way, but even if you weren’t) … what with your not being a medical expert and not, therefore, in any position to make any kind of informed decision on the matter … just in case you’re wrong and there is … it’s best you stop doing your own ‘research’, ignore the drivel you misunderstand on the Internet and act as though there is (just in case).
Unless you are a key (medical or delivery) worker, or in the Police/Fire Service, food logistics, core energy/water/communications supply or sanitation services, then stay home — if we all do that, we won’t lose our jobs (our employers can’t fire everyone).
If you have to go out … wear a mask. If you don’t work in one of the above capacities (and aren’t a carer), you don’t have to go out … stay home — fine, you can take the goldfish out for a quick crap around the block (but that’s it).
After all … you’d hate to find out that you were responsible for the deaths of others, wouldn’t you?
Because then you’d not only be retarded … but a murdering c*nt too.
—
¹ The shaving and neutering aren’t strictly necessary … they’re just funny … but we could all do with a laugh during these dark times, I think you’ll agree.
² Not that The Times is anything to write home about any more either (last time I looked at it, it contained more pictures than The Sun and the quality of the writing was about the same as well). *sigh* … Millennials, eh? Worst. Generation. Ever.
