Spicer Vows More Searches

After Phone Checks, Sean Spicer Plans To Introduce Cavity Searches

Washington DC

In its pursuit to somehow stop the source of a series of politically embarrassing leaks that have plagued the young administration, the Trump administration, led by Sean Spicer and a few other unnamed officials have started searching dozens of phones of White House staffers last week. It may be recalled that White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer called nearly two dozen staffers into his office last week and demanded the staffers’ cell phones in order to check for evidence of leaks.

Spicer’s action was first reported by CNN.

As warned, Spicer is planning to enhance this random search process and now wants to make sure that these checks are completely fool proof. He announced today that there will be random cavity searches performed for his white house staffers, beginning March 1, 2017.

Staffers will have to be prepared fot these cavity searches at anytime during the day and even be prepared for multiple searches on the same day. They will not only have their normal caivities searched, but also have their abnormal cavities, if any, searched.

Sean Spicer warned his staffers that his team will be installing ‘plugs’ should any of their cavity be deemed leaking.

Ironically, Spicer’s warning about leaking and cavity searches quickly leaked to the press.

President Trump and his top advisers have grown increasingly frustrated of late, as unnamed and anonymous sources continue to bring out a lot of negative press.

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Disclaimer: This is a work of satire, aimed to humor those who enjoy such.