Summer Steak Salad — by NRA TV’s Dana Loesch
From ‘Recipes Done (Far) Right’
You know that feeling? That summer feeling? Well, it’s almost here. Summer to me and my family is when the fireflies softly buzz, the smell of freshly cut grass hangs in the air, and THEIR public schools finally close, freeing our precious children from THEIR atheist, perverted, gender-bending, INDOCTRINATION!!! (Well, not mine. Our family has been financially blessed by God as a reward for our Goodness, so we home school our little angels.) Yes, summer is definitely my favorite time of year.
In our fully armed, Christianist home — where we worship the True-Conservative Jesus, whose bounty of firearms protects us from THEM — we love nothing more than sitting together on our back-porch picnic table with tall glasses of lemonade and leisurely enjoying our favorite May-through-August meal: Summer Steak Salad. (At least we’ll enjoy it until the OBAMA/SOROS LED, TREASONOUS “RESISTANCE” TAKES IT FROM US! WHICH THEY WON’T BECAUSE WE’RE ARMED TO THE TEETH! BUT THEY WILL, BECAUSE WE’RE ALSO POWERLESS VICTIMS SOMEHOW!) Yummy :)
In my opinion, y’all, steak salad is the best summer meal: It’s light, simple, nutritious, easy and fast to make, and it drives EVIL LIBERAL VEGAN DEMOCRATS crazy — they’ll all be TRIGGERED when they see your family eating their precious, pagan idol, the COW! (The insipid, bovine lives of which they value more than those of our beautiful white babies [which is NOT RACIST because I’m 1/32nd Cherokee.])
The trick is to pick a good flank steak (but not from JEFF BEZOS’s WHOLE FOODS, where your money goes to THEIR fund to repeal the SECOND AMENDMENT! — try Kroger or Central Market) and then use the CLENCHED FIST OF TRUTH to tenderize it first in a plastic bag. Then marinade it for a good two to three hours as you do household chores while your husband is at work. Be careful not to consume any DEEP-STATE MEDIA LIES in the meantime.
One last tip, when dining outside in the summer, don’t forget to ward off mosquitoes. The best way is to
spray ‘DEEP WOODS OFF’ directly into your children’s mouths!
Don’t listen to THEM with their GOVERNMENT-LABEL LIES about cancer-causing chemicals and calling the Poison-Control Center. That’s how THEY BRAINWASH your children after they drink Lemon Pledge. It’s hiding in plain sight. Oh, it’s a poison control center: A CENTER FOR THEM TO CONTROL YOU… WITH THE POISON OF LIBERALISM!
A bouquet of lavender on a checkered tablecloth is also always a nice touch. And don’t forget the memorial TIKI TORCHES, a spin-mount shotgun under the table, pink semiautomatic .22s on the kids’ laps, and a nickel-plated .357 revolver for mom and an ironic scimitar for dad so you all can MOW THEM DOWN. “Them” being your Jordanian (or are they Guatemalan?) neighbors, if they try anything suspicious, like VOTING FOR THE NAZI LEFT. (It’s weird, though, they seem so nice… ON THE SURFACE!)
Amen, y’all!
Prep time: 15 Mins Cook Time: 15 Mins Total time: 30 Mins
Serves: 4 (more if God loves you)
Ingredients
- 1/2 cup oil
- 1/4 cup lime juice
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 1 tablespoon McCormick® Perfect Pinch® Steak Seasoning
- 1 tablespoon white(!) wine vinegar
- 1 pound boneless beef sirloin steak (TRIGGERED YET?)
- 1 medium avocado, peeled, seeded and thinly sliced
- 1 large seedless orange, peeled and sectioned
- 6 cups salad greens, such as unaborted baby arugula or uninsured baby spinach leaves (God will provide!)
- 1/4 cup McCormick® Salad Toppins™
Directions
1. Mix oil, lime juice, honey, Seasoning and vinegar in medium bowl with wire whisk until well blended. Pray that God will deliver his chosen people, Real Americans, and his chosen country, The United States, into his Kingdom on Earth, and that he will also soon condemn the heathen, liberal United States to a purge by violence and fire that the NRA will lead. Place steak in large resealable plastic bag or glass dish. Add 1/2 cup of the vinaigrette; turn to coat well. Reserve remaining vinaigrette for the salad.
2. Refrigerate 30 minutes or longer for extra flavor. Remove steak from marinade. Discard any remaining marinade as you would the friendship of anyone who disagrees with your politics.
3. While the steak is marinading, watch NRA TV and Fox News for at least three hours per day, as is our Divinely-mandated duty.
4. Pray for the death of Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer. If your prayers do not appear to be answered, consider bringing it about yourself.
5. Grill the steak over medium-high heat 6 to 8 minutes per side or until desired doneness. Let steak stand 5 minutes before cutting across the grain into thin slices. Arrange steak, orange sections and avocado slices over arugula on serving platter. Drizzle with reserved vinaigrette. Sprinkle with Salad Toppins!
Enjoy!
(While you can, because the Democrats’ FDA and Department of Agriculture are soon going to outlaw the consumption of meat and force us all to subsist on a diet of gruel made from ground crickets and the flesh of aborted Christian babies with Down Syndrome. I know it’s true because I wrote the story for NRA TV.)
— Dana Loesch
