Technical Disservice Provider
Okay, so, It's not the absolute harshest feedback I've ever given ¹ ... but ...
“Typically, If there is any support of any kind at all for a Play Store app (It's a coin toss whether a request will receive a reply or not), initial enquiries will be met with boilerplate replies from non-technical, first-line Customer Service (not Technical Support) agents reading from a script and if the issue cannot be resolved by rebooting the device and/or reinstalling the app then there will be two further possible courses of action followed by the Customer Support team:
- tell the customer It's their fault (unique to them/their device) and they're on their own.
- never reply to the customer again, no matter how many times the customer contacts them — not even to tell the customer that it's unique to them/their device and they're on their own.
██████████████ support isn't the worst I've ever received — that (dis)honour is reserved for Open Whisper Systems, who are slower to respond than any other support service I have encountered in my nearly 40 years of computing (I used to get quicker responses by writing to magazines in 1981 and hoping to see my letter printed some time in the next six months).
And I have at least received this ‘follow up’ questionnaire enquiring as to how satisfied I am with the support I received from your team— it's automated and impersonal, I know, but at least it's something.
But, I have not even received an acknowledgement of my reply a week ago, let alone a response, so I expect ██████████████'s support will prove to be just as bad (after all, there isn't even an automated response set up to let me know my email has been received).
It's alright though, in another eight weeks, when my suspicions have been confirmed by having received no response to any of my attempts to contact ██████████████ (email reply here, direct email link from the Play Store, leaving a review on the Play Store, or a support request on the ██████████████ website) I can always shop around and try various of your competitors until I find one that actually cares enough about their customers for me to recommend their products to my own customers — or, most likely, one than doesn’t offer any more support than any other developer/supplier but at least offers comparable features and a similar level of protection.
Thanks for the enquiry — I know It's automated and I know my reply won't make any difference, but it's more than I usually get, so I feel a bit warm inside for once (thanks for that).”
Whaddaya think ... will I hear back?
[EDIT]
It just doesn’t seem to be my luck week service-wise: no sooner have I had to pen the above than I find myself obliged to follow up another issue to which I have received no reply, let alone support. It concerns an app I paid for but which subsequently seems to have decided that my money isn’t good enough but that it’ll keep it anyway — so I get neither premium user status nor a refund (yaaay!).
I left a one-star review on the Play Store, entitled (perhaps not very surprisingly) …
** VERY UNHAPPY CUSTOMER **
The app suppliers replied asking me to email them with further details — which I did there and then. I have, however, heard nothing since.
So, I’ve had to update my review …
__** EDIT **__
I emailed you a week ago, as requested, and you haven’t even had the courtesy to send me an automated response, saying “Your money is very important to us, but we aren’t going help you right now. Please wait until we are done talking to people with more important money than you.”
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO REPLY AND TELL ME YOU AREN’T GOING TO HELP ME!?
I don’t anticipate hearing back from them any time soon either.
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¹ That was the time I suggested the senior management at T-Mobile would pimp their mothers/sisters/daughters out, if they even suspected … for even a microsecond … it would make them a single cent more bonus that year than would, say, selling children into slavery.
