The Banality of White Fragility

Or why I’m just tired.

Things that do in fact make totally not racist people, appear to be racist.

I just finished reading the interview with Phil Anselmo and quite frankly, it is among the most milquetoast banal of self-defenses against the dreaded call of racist that I can’t even be angry. Just like every other White person who has a history or who demonstrates their not-racist views by engaging in racist behavior, who then sort of apologizes, follows by hollering about the PC police, SJW’s or you know anyone who doesn’t like their behavior being “the problem”.

It’s not original.

I see this same behavior everywhere. Just recently, a White woman had a full on racist meltdown after being called out for saying what? Racist things. Every cry of how not racist she is, was followed by some more racist talk.

This is the banality of White Fragility. This is how insidious this type of racism really is. It is common.

While screaming the battle cry of the White person caught saying or doing something problematic, there is almost always a checklist of things they say such as:

• I can’t be racist, I have Black/Asian/Latinx friends/relatives!
• NO YOU’RE THE RACIST YOU RACIST.
• You are SO ignorant if you talk about racism you (almost always Black people) are causing it!
• Black on Black crime!!
• SJWs ruin everything!
• I’m a good Christian/White person/etc
• You don’t know me, how can you judge me!!

Go to google and search something like White ally bingo and catch them all.

The point is, there is a pattern to this and I see it everywhere. From when folks like Mr. Anselmo get caught doing something terrible to having to deal with it on social media when strangers decide that they MUST be heard in a conversation, that their be nice to me or I’m not gonna be your ally anymore behavior must be tolerated.

This is average. This is the most basic type of behavior that non-racists deploy when they are challenged. In order to preserve their self-perception as not participating in racism, they employ racist dialogue and often end with something intended as a gotcha. Some grand “proof” of how not racist, they are that often winds up being, well, I didn’t mean it that way so you’re the asshole if you took it that way.

POC see this constantly. Especially when it comes to anything we have to say ever. From the mildest statement something like, hey, that’s really anti-Black can you not? To saying, that was a racist thing to say/do and stop, we are met with this mentality that is a strange mix of cowardice, egoism, some bit of self preservation and unchecked, unacknowledged privilege that comes out in a blaze of terrible bratty words.

These responses tend to remind me of a toddler screaming at you that they didn’t make the mess of the flour, while they have flour all over their faces.

Most of the time, I watch it happen. Sometimes I intervene and try to help folks see why this behavior is a problem. However, after a certain point I just don’t see the point in engaging with this particular flavor of Whiteness run amok.

What do you do when people can’t take full responsibility for the words that come out of their mouths? When there’s a pattern of behavior that points to, a complete lack of personal insight? I could keep at them or I can save my energy for anything else.

I have come to learn not to expect change from folks like Phil, the woman I referenced above or any of the countless other White people who are totally not racist but engage in racist behaviors to one degree or another. Like many other POC, rather than raise my blood pressure, I’ve learned when to disengage for the most part. Some things are just not worth my time and energy.

Every time this happens, I have to confess I have the tiniest glimmer of hope. I have the tiny hope that there will be a lightbulb moment and rather than having to read commentary about how if you were offended, you’re the problem (or as I saw in many metal forums, and a few messages about my article about Mr. Anselmo) you’re a pussy/ruining metal/don’t belong if you can’t handle it etc., I wish for a moment where someone is like, hey I did some soul searching/listening/reading/talking to people and I keep doing this and I need to figure out why. I need to work on it.

I’d like to highlight a part of the interview from Decibal:

“What does today’s young person really want?” he continues. “Do they want safe rock ’n’ roll? Do they want safety within their music? That’s not how we grew up. The more dangerous, the more cutting edge, the more attractive it was to us. Whether you meant what you were saying or not, if you shook things up, the more props to ya. But it seems like today if you shake things up, you’re the scourge. So, the new Superjoint, needless to say, will — gasp, hold your breath, get ready for it — might ‘trigger’ some people.”

It’s Anselmo who asks us to put the quotation marks around ‘trigger.’ And then he gets right down to business: “First and foremost, I do take full accountability,” he says of his Dimebash showing. “I’m not deflecting at all. What I did was insulting, absolutely, and abhorrent, because it did truly upset people, and it hurts my heart that anyone would think that I’m the dreaded ‘R’ word — a racist. Anyone who truly knows me knows that it’s utterly ridiculous. But if I did offend my Jewish friends, people I work with, my associates, other people in bands… if I were to upset people in that particular way — that’s why I apologized. That apology is there — and no, you won’t get another one ever again.”

I want to correct something here. In talking to other fans of color, one of the things that I see dudes like Mr. Anselmo and a lot of men in the metal community fixate on is the whole thing about being triggered.

Look, here’s the real shit.

It’s not about being offended. I find duck boots offensive.

This is more about fostering a culture where I a Black person, do not feel safe. Not emotionally safe but safe in the, I want to go to a show and not assume I’m going to get assaulted. As I said in my original article, the problem is that it’s not a joke to a lot of your fans. A lot of your fans, take that kind of “joke” as a tacit endorsement of their latent or not so latent racism.

The type of safety I want in my music means that I, I can go to a show without an escort. I want the kind of safety that wouldn’t move metalheads from all over to send me private messages offering me safe passage. I want the kind of safety that means, I can enjoy the community.

And just like every other White person I don’t know intmately, I can only make a judgement based on actions. A history of questionable behavior, is not a one off thing. A history of showing zero understanding of what people like me are saying and just declaring it SJW pussy shit, is a shit move.

There is nothing (and I mean to address the larger metal community as well as some of the edgy folks) edgy or new or creative about racism. There is nothing challenging about holding up the status quo. There is nothing inventive or shocking about doing your level best to uphold White supremacy while claiming allyship.

This finger pointing, tantrum throwing behavior is as common as assholes and opinions. Let’s leave it behind that it is somehow super hardcore and amazing to replicate the same racial or sexual dynamics that exist in the mainstream world over some heavy music.

It’s not.

To wrap up, I’m not even mad at Phil Anselmo. I’m not mad at the metal community for doing what it does. I’m not even mad at the White lady I mentioned up top.

I’m tired.

I’m still going to enjoy my favorite Pantera songs from behind a veil of double consciousness, I’m still going to have other problematic faces and I’m still going to have to just not think about whether or not my Black self is welcome into the community. It’s not okay, but I’m gonna be all right.