TIME Isn’t on Trump’s Side… Disgraced Maniac and Treason-Enthusiast Donald Trump Fails to Land Cover of Iconic TIME Magazine.
Im-peachy!
Donald Trump once had a fake Time Magazine cover created to hang in his golf clubs in order to fool people into thinking it was real.
I’ll give you a moment to digest that because it’s true and SO SPOOKY…
FUN FACT: TIME Magazine officially requested this framed photo of a pretend, made up, faux, insane, creepy, weird, TIME Magazine cover be removed from the four Trump golf clubs where they were displayed.
“I’m IMPORTANT!” -Pretend Magazine
So, Donald keeps campaigning to have himself anointed TIME Magazine’s “Person of the Year” despite him not really being “a person”.
This is similar to when Trump strong-armed Abe Shinzo of Japan to incongruously nominate him for the Nobel Prize in exchange for Trump not spitefully doing things to hurt Japan.
And yet, despite Veruca Salt’s deranged grandfather Donald wanting to be named TIME’s “Person(?) of The Year”, and wanting it NOW, the honor has instead been bestowed upon one of Trump’s NEMESIS. (One of the 7.7 billion Trump nemeses that live on this planet… those who support him and those who don’t. All of us.)
This particular nemesis is GRETA THUNBERG. Donald does NOT LIKE Greta. Here’s why.
Greta Thunberg is heroically trying to save the world because that’s what heroes do. She has been patiently explaining to various adults things that should be painfully, blatantly, obvious, the way you would explain something important about matches to a small child.
The child would say, “Matches aren’t dangerous, there’s no proof scientifically, and if there is, I shan’t believe it!” and Greta would explain why that idea is wrong.
She applies this theory to the FACT, not conjecture, not theory, but FACT that the Earth is about to melt, flood, hurricane, cyclone, tsunami, sink, storm, incinerate, cause a brouhaha, cause a hullabaloo, and cause massive death and destruction upon us. Because we’re MANIACS, and refuse to ever listen when 99.9 percent of scientists say “DON’T, STOP, BAD, MAYHEM, DEATH!” and other helpful statements*.
*(For fans of Superman, this is exactly how the destruction of the planet Krypton happened. Kryptonian leaders wouldn’t listen to scientists, idiotically, and their planet exploded killing everyone except one small child and three adult Republicans who were trapped in a mirror -as depicted in “Superman II”).
So, Greta is trying to prevent the End of all Things. This is the exact OPPOSITE of what Donald Trump desires and craves, as his goal is to ensure that America AND the world doesn’t outlive him, and do so by whatever means necessary.
As a consolation, because I truly fear for all of us whenever Trump gets FUSSY, I’ve decided to start a magazine and have Trump on the cover every month.
Here’s the first issue.
So, EXCITED that Trump is upset that “Greta got Person of the Year?”, and that I started a Magazine where Trump gives proctological exams to various other evil dictators each month on the cover? — Let us know in the comments below!
Written by Steven W. Rouach
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