To Be Or Not To Be
“So so bloody sad man!”
“Why? What happened? Is everything alright? Tell me quick!”
Okay wait, I will tell you what happened.
Since two weeks I had my exams going. Yesterday 9AM to 12 noon was the last paper. Memories of two weeks and especially of a day before exam as most of you know and understand are of intense stress building. The less you have read, the more tough a paper, the more stress it is. But then, the more stressful a exam, the more joyful the end. The sigh of relief that we all leave after end of last paper in that whoosh is indescribable.
So What Happened?
On the last day of exam, me and my friend; we are on a scooter in the morning running late to exam hall. As a pillion rider it’s my responsibility to read last minute important points so as to revise things for both of us. I’m doing just that. And suddenly it starts to feel cold. I ask my friend, if he too is feeling the cold chill, he says yes. Oh good! Then it must be the climate. The company is everything. If you feel bad alone then that’s bad. Horrible. But if you got a company, good or bad, then it’s fine. So we somehow make it to exams before last bell, sit there and write it good. Now god knows if the answers we have written are right or wrong, only the evaluation day will tell us the holy truth but we finish it somehow and are out again on scooter and eventually home.
I’m hungry. We had no breakfast in the morning. But more than anything, I’m tired. Holy fucking tired.
I walk up to sofa, lie down, spread my legs on adjacent coffee table, Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter and slowly before I could even know I’m sleeping. The peaceful no-worries-no-alarm-sleep which I had long waited for but then after some time I feel like the climate suddenly changed its course, the sunny afternoon changed into winter morning. Did I sleep a whole season? I pull up a blanket close-by and again crawl back to the sofa. It’s still cold. I check if there’s any opening from where cold air is pushing itself in, pull my legs inside and there I’m, airtight. But damn, the chill is still there. It won’t go. Slowly a doubt creeps into mind and is about to stay there and call it home.
What if I’m Sick?
I touched my neck, forehead; I got temperature. It’s fever. Not good not good. What to do now? I have holiday tomorrow. But I’m getting sick. What use is a holiday if I’m gonna fall sick? Holy fucking god!
I’m lying there on sofa with no mood to wake up. You know how it feels when you are sick. Train of thoughts have already started traveling from I’m sick to why am I sick to why just after exams and then there’s small ring in my phone. I have a text from a friend. I open to find out what it is.
“How was your exam?”
“It was good. Not better like yesterday.. Just good…”
“So you are free? Mind If I call?”
“Hey no, I’m sick as fuck!”
“What happened and since when? You were fine last night!”
“Yes I was. It’s fever. And look at my bad luck and still bad coincidence, I got it just after exams as if god wanted me to suffer and not enjoy the end of exams…”
Look at the bright side. You got it after exams and not during which would have affected your performance..”
Holy Shit.
It hit me like a bullet. This was classic half-glass-full-half-glass-empty moment. I was missing the silver lining totally. But was I? Don’t we all expect a good day’s break to enjoy and destress after exams? The biggest dilemma inside me was not to acknowledge that the glass is half full and be called optimist, it was something else.
How can anyone feel happy about being sick?
Before the exams, during or after; whatever the time. There is no chance anyone is going to be happy about catching a sickness. I don’t know any nut case that feels happy about being sick. So how can I? I was whining about falling sick just after exams and my friend was saying, I should be happy about it. But how?
Remember the scratches we get when we fall down from a bicycle? They hurt right? Imagine for the sake of it that you fall from a cliff and break your leg (you could have also lost your life!), now doesn’t the scratches appear good? Don’t you wish if only you had just got those scratches and not a major injury?
Less is good sometimes!
But being happy, feeling sad, acting snob is a choice. Isn’t it? I know it’s hard to smile when you’re broken inside but it’s possible. And that’s the beauty of it all. We all have a choice everyday, every moment of it. When someone slaps you, laughs at you, cracks a mean joke, you have a choice — to give him back or to forgive and forget. The consequences of your actions depends on that one choice you make at that point of time.
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
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