Trump Orders Construction Of Sky Wall

Critics surprised by his swift response to the discovery of 7 new planets

Washington DC

President Donald Trump on Wednesday took the first step towards building a brand new legacy in US’s inter-planetary alien immigration enforcement policies. He did that through an executive action (of course), thus making it official that he is ready to take the lead in the country’s fight against an unknown enemy (as he calls them).

First of its kind

Trump signed two executive orders directing the construction of a wall on the US-Sky border, boosting border patrol forces and increasing the number of alien protecting flying saucers to carry out inter-planetary deportations. The orders also call for stripping sanctuary cities of federal grant funding and announced sweeping new criteria that could make many more aliens, priorities for deportation.

Earlier today, at a news conference held at NASA, astronomers shared the discovery of 7 new planets. The seven exoplanets were all found in tight formation around an ultracool dwarf star called TRAPPIST-1. Estimates of their mass also indicate that they are rocky planets, rather than being gaseous like Jupiter.

“With NASA’s discovery of seven new earth sized planets and possible life in them, beginning today, the United States of America has to show the world some leadership in building control on our sky borders,” Trump told employees of the Department of Homeland Security at the department’s headquarters in Washington.

A Sky Wall?

It is to be noted that no one in his cabinet has any idea how any of this is even physically possible. Even though the Republican controlled Congress expects to quickly approve money for President Trump’s sky wall, the House Speaker Paul D. Ryan (R-Wis.) could not guarantee that Republicans won’t add to the budget deficit to pay for it.

Ryan said since the White House has promised to submit the funding request “soon”, he would promise that the GOP-led Congress would process it “very very very soon, after however soon the White House sends the request”.

Ryan estimated the cost at $2.5 million to $5 million, but others have estimated it to be a piercing streak of stupidty passing through a completely ignorant head with the depth of its imbecility only be matched by its utter lack of human logic.

“We have ambitious goals and ambitious timelines,” Ryan said, without blinking his deceiving eye.

Disclaimer: This is a work of satire, aimed to humor those who enjoy such.