Truth In Satire

Trump Rapidly Becoming Radicalized By Dangerous Cult

Calling themselves “Christian Fundamentalists” the sect uses a “hands-on mind-snatching” technique to control the president

Trump drops into empty-headed stupor as “The Fundamentalists” use groping technique to scramble his brain. (Credit: news.sky.com)

By putting their hands all over him, a powerful cult called “Christian Fundamentalists” are controlling Donald Trump’s puny mind and precarious actions.

VP Pence (right) is part of this dangerous cult radicalizing the president. (Credit: www.theatlantic.com)

“He appears powerless when they use this hands-on, mind- snatching technique against him,” said an expert in the mysterious cult. “They have operatives inside the White House who help them gain access to the president, and then it’s all hands on POTUS.”

According to the fundamentalist expert, one of the group’s “inside men” is Sec. of State Mike Pompeo. Another is Vice-President Mike Pence, both of whom assist the cult in laying their self-righteous hands on the president.

Every chance they get, The Fundamentalists “hand hypnotize” Trump in order to control his susceptible mind. (Credit: www.thenewcivilrightsmovement.com)

Also referred to as “evangelicals,” many of the cult’s leaders, like the Dallas dark coven keeper, Robert Jeffress, quote from a text they call “The Book.” They also revere a prophet who goes by the name “Lord of the Bling” — an apparent reference to the group’s pilfering of money, jewels, and other “offerings” from their followers. In the case of Trump, the cult extracts huge tax breaks, fancy vacations, and other pay-offs in exchange for votes.

The Christian Fundamentalists have also tried to bring first lady Melania Trump under their spell, but because she is a vampiress, she is less susceptible to their shadowy influence.

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–AI