TrumPooning Tunes
Trump sings “The Ballad of Jar Head”
Inspired by and sung to “The Ballad of Jed Clampett”, the Beverly Hillbillies Theme
Come and listen to my story ‘bout a boy, Jar Head
Heir to daddy’s real estate, biz hanging by a thread,
One day on the radio, heard Stern say something rude,
Jar Head’s future Dad-in-law trumped-in with words more lewd.
(Jar’s in shock, Locker talk, Crashing stock)
Well, the first thing you know, Jar Head weds The Donald’s heir,
His kinfolk said “Can’t you just have an affair?”
“Sure, she makes you horny but Ivanka lies like Dad”
Jar Head said, “Don’t worry, I will soon be Jar Comrade.”
(Russian’s Vlad, Makes you mad, Bad is sad)
Jar Head bought a highrise, but the youngster paid too much
Tried and failed tycooning, no experience, no touch.
Heading for bankruptcy, miracles will never cease
Loyalty won over smarts, assignment Middle East
(Loosin’ lease, Mid East peace, Palms greased)
Jar Head said, “ I’ll do it ’cause I need some well-heeled friends
My former bankers let me down, they say that no one lends
Kislyack said, “Russian banker Gorkov you should know”
Jar Head said, “Back channels are preferred for Russian dough.”
(New contacts, Mueller tracks, Bad attracts)
Jar Head’s cleared for secrets, secret meetings he did take
Some included Russians just for information sake
Some included big execs from lending entities
Jar Head said, “I’ll take that half a billion, Sis is pleased.”
(Needin’ cash, Secret stash, Status crash)
Now it’s time to say good bye to Jar Head and his sin.
Since securing financing, his White House job’s a win
Jar Head got his loans, Ivanka’s brands, olympic boost
Kelly thinks he’ll get his his wish, Jarvanka is cut loose
(Nice tries, Fam’ly ties, Mueller’s prize)
Now y’all come back now, y’hear?
©2018 HHThorpe
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