Trump Supporter and (Spoiler Alert) Racist Maniac, Aaron M. Schlossberg, Gets a FUN SURPRISE!
“Karma Police… arrest this man” said Radiohead to Schlossberg
So, my deeply cherished, adored, and beloved readers, in these days of national mourning for school shootings as Trump, the GOP, and the NRA all sing the “Prayers and now’s not the time to talk about gun control” song in horrific harmony… at least one good thing happened.
Racist a-hole lunatics are learning that Trump’s overt racism DOES NOT give non-billionaires free rein to act like racist a-hole lunatics without consequence.
No, it’s true.
If you run around like an idiot in a public place, shouting insanely racist and crazy things, SOMEONE will post you all over the internet doing this, and it will prevent you from doing things like: continuing to be employed, and also prevent you from getting a new job, unless of course, you decide to run for president of the United States.
Case in point, let’s look at the comedy stylings of racist, maniacal, lawyer Aaron M. Schlossberg.
What happened was, right here in NYC, home of people such as: myself, and Spider-Man, Aaron M. Schlossberg decided to go on a screaming rampage at people, — actual human beings, who were speaking Spanish in a restaurant. Sadly, neither me, nor Spider-Man, was there at the time to prevent this.
So, he yelled like a lunatic would about: deportations, and calling ICE, and saying — ‘bla, bla, bla, back to your country’, and ‘bla, bla, bla, I’m paying for you to live, despite all of you obviously having jobs!’
His exact, profoundly idiotic words were: “My guess is they’re not documented, and so my next call is to ICE. I want each one of them kicked out of my country. They have the balls to come here and live off of my money. I pay for their welfare; I pay for their ability to be here.”
Now, this guys WAS a LAWYER, possibly one whose Hispanic clients often lost their cases. Here’s a glimpse of how this would play out.
Aaron M. Schlossberg: Your honor, I want my client kicked out of my country…
Judge: OVERRULED! Please approach the bench, so I can hit you over the head with my gavel.
See, they weren't in good hands. Call it a hunch.
Point is, despite having a brain that was once used as a pincushion for busy seamstresses, Aaron M. Schlossberg had a law practice, some really nice suits, *a Madison Ave address, money in his pocket, and the all the makings of what could have been an easy-breezy life.
(*to give non-New Yorkers perspective on this, if you have a hamster, look at its cage, and know — that exact space costs $14,000 dollars a month rent on Madison Ave.)
Then, Schlossberg became: A CELEBRITY. A YouTube sensation. An actual twit on twitter.
Fast forward sixty seconds after this man, Aaron M. Schlossberg, won the award in the Silliest Goose In The Flock Competition, and people identified him. They posted his name and info, and started to leave FUN messages for him on Facebook. For example, here’s mine.
THEN, they took to Yelp, where his Yelp account, actually, audibly YELPED. Same for his Google reviews.
THEN, the people who own the space he rents his office from, told him:
“Hey, you know that song ‘I Like to Move It’? Good, because, we’re going to need you to do exactly that. You know, like, move your things out of here. We know it’s sudden, so feel free to do this over the next four and a half minutes”.
Here’s a picture of me when I found out about all of this.
:)
But WAIT, there’s MORE!
THEN, every Hispanic in the tri-state area found out where Aaron M. Schlossberg LIVES, and threw a PARTY there! (I bet you can guess what came next).
THEN — A MARIACHI BAND arrived!!! Like the Cavalry! And they serenaded Schlossberg outside his home. (Someone brilliant on twitter came up with: “he should yell ‘PLAY IN ENGLISH!!!!!’ at the Mariachi band..”)
THEN, reporters chased Schlossberg, who was wearing dark glasses and a baseball cap, down the street, thus confirming he should have also have opted to wear a fake nose, and mustache, and a long haired wig, if he wants to walk around in public these days.
See, although Schlossberg’s overtly operatic hate rant was directed at Hispanics, (at least at that moment), many of us who are not Hispanic were also outraged and saddened by Schlossberg’s actions and words, echoed across the country by his racist brethren, insane thoughts, which, much like their minds, consists of “just the air, in an empty space”.
The point is, non-racists are fighting back with both history, and GOD, on our sides.
I’m 47 years old and truly, deeply, hope to see an end to such idiotic hatred in my lifetime, and… time is running out.
Written by Steven W. Rouach
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