Trump Takes Huge Patriotic Shit On American Flag
President Trump demands Taco Bell pay for the toilet paper.
WASHINGTON, D.C. — GOP congressmen applauded President Donald Trump at a rally today as the leader of the free world patriotically defecated on the American flag, sodomized an eagle, and did an unflattering impression of George Washington, whom he referred to as “a third rate President.”
In the wake of months of Trump breaking norms not just in politics, but specifically in the GOP, reporters were shocked when members of the President’s party seemed perfectly okay with the desecration of these American symbols.
“I think it’s totally justified,” said Congressman Bob Goodlatte (R-VA). “The President is acting on behalf of the American people, and unlike the swamp creatures in the other party, he’s willing to do things that aren’t very PC in order to make America great again,” Congressman Goodlatte continued, as the President tore into the American bald eagle until it bled to death.
“Personally, I’m happy to see someone just trying a new approach to Washington Politics,” said Rodney Frelinghuysen (R-NJ) as President Trump asked his wife to “feed me more corn” as he gave birth to an explosive shit on the American flag once raised over Iwo Jima.
The afternoon’s festivities reached their zenith when President Trump, in what can best be described as a sort of improvised blackface using Just For Men hair coloring, did an impression of President George Washington, seemingly inspired by his impressions via Mike Pence of Hamilton, a show President Trump refuses to see. This impression included seventeen “yes-suh”s, six “yus massa”s, and thirty “Hillary Clinton should be in jail!”s.
