Trump’s First Press Conference: The Beginning of the End of the World
But it doesn’t have to be. I’ll explain…
But first: Wednesday morning, January 11, 2017, the country — the world really — witnessed what my grandmother would have politely called a “fucking nightmare of a shit show,” but which traditionally is called a “press conference,” by the man who is to become the next President of the United States in a little less than six days.
The presser was supposed to have been about how Trump was going to resolve the myriad of extensive and mysterious conflicts of interest presented by his allegedly (remember, we still haven’t seen a single tax return) massive, global business holdings. But of course, the events of the previous 24 hours proved a useful distraction from the fact that what Trump presented as the resolution of all the conflicts was bupkis. Nada. Zilch. He has allegedly signed over control of his companies and his other assets to his son’s, Donald Jr. and Eric Trump. I say allegedly because no one in the media has been allowed to examine or even look at a single sheet of paper (despite the enormous pile of file folders that Trump stood next to while at the podium) that would prove that he has done anything of the kind. Moreover, as any ethics lawyer will tell you, signing things over to your adult children instead of divesting ownership is the practical equivalent of putting up chicken wire to prevent water from flooding your yard. But I digress.
Throughout the approximately 57 minutes he held court, Donald Trump was every terrible thing he has ever been cracked up to be. Contemptuous of the media, as always, he continued his endless sniveling about how they cover him — or don’t cover him — unfairly or inaccurately. He bullied CNN’s reporter, Jim Acosta, and refused to allow him to ask a question because he was upset that his network had the temerity to report the factual story of the intelligence briefing at which Trump was apprised of the potential existence of a dossier, assembled by a former British intelligence officer, that contains unsubstantiated compromising information about him, some of it salacious. Salacious is a polite word to describe one particular tidbit about how Trump allegedly hired a couple of hookers to piss all over a hotel bed that Barack and Michelle Obama had supposedly once slept in while on a trip to Russia and the Russian FSB (a polite word for KGB) videotaped the whole thing. Let me be clear, the story, which I’ve coined “Peepeegate,” remains unsubstantiated and its veracity has been called into question by several reputable news organizations. Nevertheless, there’s a part of me that believes every word of it. Anyway, Trump angrily dismissed Acosta and his network as the right’s favorite new epithet for any information that they disagree with or don’t like: Fake News. He also hinted at future intimidation, even persecution, of what he considers to be unfriendly reporters and news organizations. Trump also continued to belittle the American intelligence community and called the fact that “someone” leaked (LEAKED!) the details of the briefing at which the dossier was discussed “disgraceful.” Golly, I guess leaks, when they’re about you, aren’t so good anymore.
These were just the highlights. He also couldn’t help childishly taking another couple of digs at Hillary Clinton, relitigating the election results, and reiterating his unmitigated bullshit about a) having Mexico pay for his big, beautiful wall. Not a fence, a WALL, and b) that Congress, shortly after the Senate confirms his nominee for HHS Secretary, will repeal and simultaneously replace Obamacare (also known as the Affordable Care Act or the ACA, in case you’re one of those Facebook people who don’t know that they’re the same thing).
Throughout the performance (he’s a reality TV “star,” after all), he at turns sounded angry, mean, petty, dangerously ill-informed and even crazy. And judging from the reactions that I was reading on Twitter while I listened to the press conference, people who don’t support Trump reacted with dismay, despair, even fear. Along with the jokes poking fun at Trump’s nonsense and the WTF’s, people expressed a sense of impending doom and the feeling of wanting to check out or go into hiding for the next four years. I was one of them.
But then the pig fuck was over and I had work to do and time to reflect. What I am about to tell you is the product of that reflection and also my humble opinion: it doesn’t have to be as bad as we thought. In fact, I’m confident of that.
Okay, if you’re still with me and done laughing (or screaming), I’ll explain what I mean. If you’ve been paying attention throughout the election and the transition not only to what Trump says, but also who he has chosen as his “team,” the people with whom he plans to govern, you have to agree that what we are about to witness is an historic level of incompetence and ignorance. Most of these people, Trump included, have no idea how government works, nor are they willing to learn. How many stories have you read in the past two months about Obama administration officials being stood up for transition meetings with their supposed counterparts on the Trump team? Exactly. What I think this means is that over the next four years we’re going to hear a lot of noise and nonsense and smoke being blown up America’s collective asshole, but no actual policies being enacted that will have significant, lasting impact and that the next, hopefully progressive, President won’t be able to undo.
“But,” you might say. “What about the Republicans in Congress?” That’s the beauty part: while they may be just as malevolent as Trump, they, unlike him, have demonstrated that they will shit their pants and react immediately to media scrutiny and, more importantly, public outrage.
I know people who call themselves Republicans and some who even claim to be conservative. Most, if not all, of them voted for Trump. They care about a lot of the same things everybody cares about: their families, their jobs and their bank accounts, and, however misguided they might be, they believe that the Republican party is better at ensuring the security of the things they care about. Yes, some of that might have to do with ignorance and even racism, but what they definitely don’t give a rat’s hairy ass about are so-called “conservative principles.” Conservative principles are code words that people like Paul Ryan use to disguise the fact that what they are trying to do is punish poor and working people and minorities for being poor or working class or minority while rigging the rules to overwhelmingly benefit themselves and the white and well-to-do. And whenever the GOP has tried to implement the more truly evil parts of this agenda — like privatize Social Security under George W. Bush or, very recently, gut the Congressional Ethics Office — the people, all of them, in their righteous and powerful anger have clapped them back. Hard. Just wait and see what happens when they actually try to take health care coverage away from 20 million Americans, many of whom are the very same people that put them in power. Watch what happens when they try to fuck with your granny’s medicare (as Ryan is planning to do). Get your popcorn ready. These guys also know that whatever fucked up thing Trump might do is going to get blamed on them too. And they have to run for reelection in two years. My guess is that the GOP congress is going to be very helpful in protecting Trump (and the country) from his worst instincts.
That doesn’t mean we can relax, guys. Far from it. Sure, have a laugh. I mean, “Peepeegate,” for Christ’s sweet sake! It’s fucking hilarious right? But remember this: the “norms” don’t apply to Trump and the dickheads around him. By dickheads I mean his kids and his son-in-law. They don’t care about norms or optics or “The American People.” They want to do evil things because it will enrich them, whether that be with money or what they really crave, notoriety. And money. So trying to reason with them or being nice or civil or respectful or courteous will not work on them. Neither will appealing to their sense of patriotism or even common, human decency. They possess neither.
So fuck them. The only power they have over us is the power that we give them. So fuck them and fuck Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell and Steve Bannon and Kellyanne Conway and all the rest of them. Fuck them straight to hell.
Stay vigilant. Resist. Keep calling your congressional representatives and demand that they resist too. If you’re a Democrat (as I am) support progressive candidates who will fight tooth and fucking nail without giving an inch on anything against whatever horrors the GOP will try to inflict on the nation. Even if that means we primary some incumbents off of their comfortable, leather asses.
We shall overcome, goddamnit. Now have a blessed day. I mean that.
