Voted leave? I love you. Now let’s talk and do.

If you voted Leave in the referendum: I love you. I disagree with your final choice on the ballot paper, but I bear you no ill will. Now let’s work out what comes next, together.

This referendum campaign has been marred by vitriol and negativity, insults and alienation, has hurt friends, family and neighbours. I do not want to see that continue. It’s not healthy for us as a society or as individuals.

Remain voters: I see a lot of frustration from fellow Remain people about those that voted Leave. I appreciate that frustration; I cried when I heard that result. In my darker moments, I want some minor mishap to befall them as a result of voting Leave, too — their favourite Cornish pasty factory closing, or their favourite US-import beer being that bit too expensive. But that’s not healthy, for us as individuals, as communities, or as a society. Crowdfunding “we told you so” billboards for a year’s time is not constructive. Cathartic, maybe, but not constructive. We’ve joked about that, so when you’re ready to, let’s move forward. I love you too, of course.

Leave and Remain voters (and those that couldn’t vote) need to talk — here’s some things to talk about

Have you listened to why people voted the opposite way you did? Please do. John Harris’s video for the Guardian gets lots of people to discuss their reasons for voting Remain or Leave — well worth a watch.

EU referendum: welcome to the divided, angry Kingdom - video

Drawing on that video, Facebook posts, articles, news reports, phone-ins, websites etc. here’s some of the reasons I’ve found why people voted Leave. I’ve put my responses — what are yours?

1. Democratic responsibility in the EU: I appreciate that and have some sympathy with that. I’m comfortable with a different trade-off of direct democratic accountability and cooperative responsibility, but by no means am saying I’m completely happy with the status quo. We can work together to make Britain more democratic, and better hold our politicians to account.
2. Use of tax-payers’ money: let’s find ways to make sure that all the money that Government spends on our behalf (a lot more than £350 million a week) is spent well. Let’s also talk about where we are not spending money, where we should.
3. Concerns about immigration: I’ve mainly seen this directly linked to worries about services and jobs: if that’s you, let’s talk. I think your concerns about infrastructure, jobs, housing etc are legitimate, but I disagree that immigrants are the cause of these problems. I think there are other, better, ways of ensuring that we have sufficient jobs, housing, public services etc. and still be welcoming [as we would expect to be welcomed] to people worldwide. I say this as an internal migrant, of course, one who has travelled over 500 miles from where I grew up and so add to London’s transport woes, reduce its housing stock, add to its GP waiting lists, take a job that someone from London could have taken etc, so I may be biased on this, but let’s give it a go, eh? We both care about making Britain a better place.
   …
   I’ve also seen this linked to out-and-out racism and xenophobia. If that’s your reason for voting Leave: you’re wrong, and you need to know that you’re wrong. For the rest of us, we need to keep on tackling racism especially as some people have taken the Leave result as permission to be racist — lots of reports on Twitter, for example. Report racist behaviour to the police (101 for non-emergency, for British Transport Police call 0800 40 50 40 or text 61016, or for emergencies, 999), challenge if it feels safe for you to do so, support those that do challenge if you can. Don’t let them think their racism is OK and “what we’re all thinking”. It’s not.
4. To reject the scare tactics of the Remain campaign: At 20 minutes in to this phone-in, David tells how he wrestled with his “Remain” gut feeling, but voted Leave because of Remain’s scare tactics. Personally, I can believe that a lot of the warnings Remain were giving could be true, but like David, I was really disappointed by the Remain campaign not giving much of a positive vision for the future. Here Leave seem to be more successful, ideas of taking back control, of independence. Leave supporters have an image of a great power striding around the globe, being independent and free. I find that a pretty lonely vision, especially when cooperation and globalisation seem to be how the world works now. We need to talk about what we want the UK to be, and how we want to relate to the world. James Long asks “What do we want to be known for?” — that’s a great question to start with.
5. Hope for change, even with the risk that could be negative: this was something I first saw outlined by both working-class academic Lisa McKenzie, and MoneySavingExpert Martin Lewis: Leave means change; change offers a chance (however small) of change for the better; those with the least may take that chance, even if there’s also a chance of losing more. It makes sense — we see that with game shows, where contestants can gamble what they have won for the star prize. I find the level of poverty in the UK shameful, given how rich we are: it’s a hard problem, but there’s got to be more that we can do.
6. Not wanting the European Union to expand with the UK as a member state: well, assuming we do go through with leaving, then this is achieved. The EU may still expand, of course.
7. The Eurovision song contest: I don’t think this is serious, but the Contest has felt the need to point out on Facebook that UK participation is not affected by this. Besides, Eurovision is ace, we can’t get rid of that!
8. If you voted Leave for another reason: let’s hear it. Perhaps there’s a way of addressing your concerns that we both think will be better for the UK and wider society?

If you voted Remain: I hope that we can work out ways to work together to find ways to work with the situation, and with Leave voters, to avoid the worst of our fears and concerns and make the best of the opportunities and possibilities. Let’s talk about why we voted Remain — what we like and want to keep, and what we want to improve. And then work to keep that and improve that.

For whatever reason you voted Leave or Remain: Remember that we all have the best interests of our friends, family, neighbours and country at heart. Find ways to involve us in the next steps going forward. Let’s not retreat to our respective referendum camps. This is too important.

If you did not vote (but are in the UK): Can we campaign for a democratic system that would enable (or encourage) you to vote in elections? Or are there other ways that you have your voice?

If you did not vote and are outside the UK: What the hell have you made of all this palava? Here’s a photo of a cute dog to make up for it.

Understanding what will happen next is important, but there’s still stuff we can get on and do in the meantime

I’ve read lots of speculation and conjecture on what happens next, or what could happen next. We could (as Dan [Leave] Hannam MEP talked about on this morning’s Radio 4 Week in Westminster — first few minutes) negotiate a compromise relationship with the EU that would try to keep both Remain and Leave sides happy; we could just fully exit the EU and go from there; we could see a series of economic disasters befall the UK while we try to negotiate our exit which triggers a second referendum to be called and we back out of the process; Superboy punches Time and resets the universe (thanks Steve Cross at last night’s Books Showoff for that idea), etc.

There’s a lot of uncertainty. I feel so sad for my friends and neighbours whose plans are on hold, my fellow EU citizens who now wonder if they are welcome here, and for all those who are affected by the uncertainty and volatility. It is worrying.

We are not completely helpless in this sea of uncertainty though. Some of my friends view this as an opportunity — I just view it as reality, but my optimism hopes that we can make some good come of this.

A few things we can do

Based on the above, here’s some things we can do:

1. Let’s get more democratic. The amazingly high turnout shows that when our vote matters, we turn out to vote. We have the highest voter registration ever. Let’s keep that momentum going, and keep giving people votes that matter. On this morning’s Week in Westminster, Peter Oborne said that Britain loves Parliamentary democracy; the presenter pointed out that most MPs were for Remain. Westminster needs to better reflect our views. The referendum for the alternative vote failed, with some parties arguing that alternative vote wasn’t good enough as a form of proportional representation. Great, we know what to do then: let’s get a better form of proportional representation. Let’s get it now, or by the next election at least. There are several campaign organisations working on this (not sure why they are separate and not merged, but there we are, let’s just deal with it): Make Votes Matter, the Electoral Reform Society, Unlock Democracy, and something on Twitter only (?) called the Alliance for PR. Many political parties also have Proportional Representation campaigns. Join one, or more. Let’s “Take Control” of the UK Parliament.
2. Be politically active: this post directly addresses Leave voters, and I agree with it. Remainers and non-voters, you need to get involved too- push for what you think is the right way forward, working from here.
3. Tackle the problems that immigrants get blamed for — lack of jobs (in particular areas/sectors), lack of appropriate housing, under-resourced public services etc. These are big, tough issues. As individuals, our power to fix these will be small, but we can add our voice to campaigns that promote public services, show politicians that we care about supporting jobs, building homes, healthcare etc. Push our leaders that will be responsible for what happens next to be aware of the need for improvement in jobs, housing, services etc. Sort of a refined version of number 2 above, unless you are in a position of power, in which case, get on with it.
4. Confront racism: quash the idea that a Leave result gives permission to be racist. Report racist behaviour to the police (101 for non-emergency, for British Transport Police call 0800 40 50 40 or text 61016, or for emergencies, 999), challenge if it feels safe for you to do so, support those that do challenge if you can. Don’t let them think their racism is OK and “what we’re all thinking”. It’s not.
5. Support current EU migrants in the UK: one uncertainty we can end, very quickly, is whether our friends, neighbours, people in our community, (or for some readers of this, ourselves) who are from the rest of the EU and living here in the UK can stay. The answer to this is yes. That’s the only fair and reasonable option — it would be a generous and fair thing to do now, to support the case for the millions of Brits living in the rest of the EU to be able to stay there. Write to your MP to ask that we sort this now — Vanessa on Twitter has a great template letter on Twitter that you could copy. There’s also an online petition — sign that, but the letter to your MP will carry more weight.
6. Ask more questions of our political representatives on all topics: challenge them, encourage evidence-informed policy-making (which includes saying why you’re doing or not doing something), ask them for positive reasons to agree with them, call them out on meaningless slogans and bombast, and punish them (vote them out) for policies that they can’t keep.
7. Be kind to all: it’s been a bruising, argumentative few weeks, and we are in a period of uncertainty right now. Let’s be kind to each other.
8. What else?

Why should I listen to you?

I’m nobody special. I’m a fellow citizen, that’s all. It’s Saturday, and I’m meant to be studying, but I can’t get thoughts about where we are now, what might be next, and what that might mean, out of my head. And all I can think about is that we need to talk, and start to do what’s useful. And maybe feel a little bit less helpless. My brain wanted to get this out on screen now. It’s a development of thoughts that I posted to my friends on Facebook previously. I’m sharing this more widely so my Twitter friends can see this too — and if I don’t know you, hello, join in. I’d like to listen to you too.