Develop yourself _發展自我

In part from a book, “FOR WOMEN ONLY”_The Art of Being a Woman

I summed up 3 points from the new topic of the book. I also made a video about the content on my Youtube channel, If you are interested, welcome to check it out.

Good looking

We cannot deny that both men and women are born with an inherent appreciation for beautiful things, and they also have aesthetic abilities. We like to see beautiful works of art, and attractive tourist sites and admire lovely actresses or handsome actors. Don’t feel ashamed of pursuing beauty.

However, when we talk about ‘good-looking appearance’ here, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we have to look exceptionally beautiful or have a perfect body shape. Most of us are just ordinary people, and at the very least, we should learn to dress neatly and avoid body odor, If we know how to dress with some style, take care of ourselves, and stay healthy and energetic, it would be even better. A good-looking appearance definitely gives us more confidence and helps us make a good impression on others.”

But the main thing is not for others, but for ourselves. In fact, we all have the desire to be beautiful and confident women in our hearts. It’s important, to be honest with ourselves about our desires and take action towards them.”

know how to relax, laugh and enjoy yourself

But if we think that our value is only based on how we look, that’s just not right. Having a good personality can actually make us more attractive. Women are human too and we can be selfish sometimes, especially if we’re single. The problem is that we might start to avoid relationships, get more stubborn, and become more self-centered as time goes on. We need to learn how to chill out, laugh, and have fun.

We gotta look at ourselves and see if we’re trying to control others, don’t know how to love, and need to feel the freedom that love brings.

“Sexy” is often associated with sex, but the writer believes that it actually means feeling life, enjoying life, constantly learning, and appreciating the people and things around us. Sexy people have lively and sensitive senses.

We have also seen many single women whose lives are fulfilling and rich. They have a humorous and witty personalities and exude joyfulness at all times. They enter into others’ lives with an elegant demeanor and are full of love because they have sufficient supply both materially and spiritually. They are confident in themselves and their worth and truly radiate a sexy charm at all times.

Are you someone worth befriending and getting to know?

We often focus on verbs like “find,” “want,” and “do,” but overlook the verb “become.” It’s important to who you become as a person. Are you the kind of woman that the man you love wants to marry?

Every woman must find ways to solve her own problems. Some women blame everything on the unfavorable environment when they face setbacks or lack a sense of achievement. They tend to make a fuss about small things, hold anger in their hearts, and express dissatisfaction with everything. We need to stop living in dreams and fantasies and grasp the “present” to face reality. We cannot wait for a man to enter our lives before we start living. We cannot “pretend” to be someone we are not, and we must manage our own lives at all times.

I used to share a house with a single woman in her 40s who was very kind and good to people, but after spending time with her, I began to want to distance myself from her. She appeared very happy, but I hardly ever saw her truly happy in private. She seemed to enjoy helping people, but when someone didn’t accept her kindness, she would be super upset. She wasn’t very receptive to other people’s suggestions, and when you shared a different opinion, she would have more to say to educate you and force you to agree with her point of view.

You know, No one wants to be around someone who is always unhappy and brings stress to your life. To be honest, being a warm-hearted woman may not necessarily help you to be liked by more people if you don’t enjoy your life.

But don’t worry too much, these problems can all be addressed as long as we seek to develop ourselves. No one is perfect, and when we are willing to honestly face our own issues and make changes in our actions, we will make progress in both our appearance and personality. Of course, in this process of change, we must not forget to relax, and enjoy our life.

I am still learning and I hope that we can grow together to become sexy women.

好看的外表

我們不可否認不管男生女生天生就喜歡看美麗的事物，有著對美感的鑒賞能力。我們喜歡看美麗的藝術作品，獨特的風景，也欣賞漂亮的女演員或是帥氣的男星。不要為追求美麗感到羞恥。但這裡所說的”好看的外表”，其實並不是需要我們長多麼好看，身材多麼火辣，我們大部分都是普通人，我們至少學習穿戴整齐，没有异味。如果有着一定的穿衣品味，做一些打扮，健康并看起来有活力，那就更好了。 好看的外表的確使我们富有自信，而且增加他人對你的印象。

但主要的是並不是為別人，而是我們自己，我们内心其实都有渴望做一个美丽自信的女生。诚实面对自己的欲望，并行动起来。

懂得放鬆心情，懂得歡笑

可是我们的价值若只建立在外貌，那就错了。好的性格可能更叫人有魅力，女人也是人，也有自私的體質，尤其是单身女性，致命伤就在于逐渐逃避人际关系，越来越固执，设定个人的生活方式，而养成自我中心的性格。我們需要学会放松心情，懂得欢笑，娱乐。我们需要审视自己，是否有支配他人的毛病，不懂得如何爱人，需要体会爱所带来的自由。

“性感”常常被聯想到性，但作者認為其實性感意味著感受生命，享受生命，不斷地學習，欣賞周圍的人事物，性感的人的感官是活潑敏感的。我们也会見過许多单身女性，生活充实，丰富，性格幽默风趣，随时随地都焕发着愉悦，她们以优雅的风度踏进他人的生活，充满爱心，因为她们物质和精神上都有充足的供应.她們肯定自己的价值，充满自信。她們真的隨時散發是性感的魅力。

你是否是一個值得別人交往結識的人？

我們常常只注意“找” “要“ 做”” 這些動詞，卻忽略了一個詞“成為””，你成為什麼樣的人，是很重要事，你可否是你所愛的那種男人想娶的女人？每個女人都得設法解決自己的問題，有一些女生將一切挫折或缺乏成就感怪罪在環境的不順，總是大題小做，心懷憤怒，對各樣的事情表示不滿。我們要停止活在夢想和憧憬中，而是要把握“現今”，面對現實。我們不可能等到男人走進你的生活了，你才開始你的生活。我們無法去“裝”成什麼樣的人，不管什麼時候，我們都要管理好自己的生活。

我之前與一個40多歲的單身女性合租房子，她人非常善良對人也好，但是接觸她的人久了以後，我就开始想要遠離她。她看起來好像很開心，但私底下我幾乎沒有看到她真心快樂‘，她看起來很喜歡樂於助人，但是當對方不接收她的好意，或是不喜歡她做的食物，她就表示很生氣。她不太能接受他人的建議，當你分享不同想法，她就會有更多的話來教育你，強迫你與她的想法達成一致。没有人愿意与一个总是不开心，常常给你带来压力的人相处。说实话，做热心肠的女人不一定会帮助到你让你更多人喜欢你。

但不要太担心，这些问题都可能会被解决，只要我们寻求发展自己。没有人是完美的，当我们愿意诚实面对自己的问题，并作出行动上的改变，就会进步，不论在外貌上面还是性格方面。当然在这个改变的过程中，不要忘记放松心情，懂得欢笑。

我依舊也在學習中，願我們一起成長。成為性感的女人。