Done With Terrace House
WARNING: This essay discusses suicide, depression, and self-harm. If you aren’t comfortable with those topics, you don’t have to read this.
I didn’t want to write this. I wanted to write about how much I loved Terrace House. I wanted to write about how I started the show to improve my Japanese, and fell in love with the camaraderie, the dating, the humor, and chill vibes throughout the show. I wanted to speak to how I could relate to twenty year olds pursuing their dreams in an uncertain world. I wanted to praise it for highlighting the importance of teamwork in Japanese society, but also for demonstrating the common humanity Japan shares with America. I wanted to contrast it from the ugly toxicity of reality TV in the United States, but I can’t do that today.
Kimura Hana, a member from the newest season has died at the age of 22. She was women’s pro-wrestler, who joined the show to help raise awareness and humanize Japanese women’s wrestling. An official cause of death has yet to be released, but she had been suffering from a deluge of death threats and cyber-bullying due to the fallout from an incident on the show. She also shared images of self-harm and expressed suicidal thoughts. I want to express my deepest condolences to her friends, family, and fans around the around. I cannot fathom the depth of your grief.
The last few episodes of Terrace House began to really turn me off. The reason that many of us have come to like Terrace House, is because we enjoy watching people develop relationships and mature as a group. There wasn’t a lot of that this season, but there was hope that the new surfer, Kanao Reo, could rekindle that, but now, I don’t think he’ll be able to. He’s lost another friend, after Imai Yosuke, and so have we all.
I also began to worry about the mental health of the Terrace House members. Mizukoshi Emika broke down emotionally after all the hateful comments she received from social media, which prompted her to leave the house. Kobayashi Kai also suffered an emotional breakdown during his comedy stand-up set and was visibly not well afterwards. Kimura Hana’s anger during the so-called “Costume Incident” was a cry for help. One can easily point the fingers at other house members for not mediating things properly, but frankly, they’re still growing too. I can’t help but be frustrated at the producers of this show; For not intervening even though the members clearly needed professional help, and for editing footage to cast people in the worst possible light.
Many of us have joked about members, ranked them in tier lists, or critiqued certain actions of theirs, but none of it was meant to be personal. We always hoped that no matter the conflict, people would reconcile, and that no matter their mistakes, the members would grow and learn, as we all have to. We need to understand that we don’t know someone simply because they were on Terrace House. We only know a version of them that the producers want us to see. No one should be condemned for their worst mistakes, especially those done at 22. We all need people in our lives who can help us forgive ourselves and improve.
In closing, I’m done with Terrace House. I don’t want to watch emotional breakdowns and public humiliation for “entertainment.” I don’t want to participate in a franchise where mental health problems are ignored by producers who should know better. I don’t know if I want to opine on a show where my comments could be used to further death threats against real people. I also don’t want to hear any more commentary about how “relaxing” or “tranquil” Terrace House is. Japanese reality TV can be just as exploitative and toxic as American reality TV. The whole show has left a bad taste in my mouth.
There was so much of life ahead for Kimura Hana. She had so many more lessons to learn, so many more matches to fight, and so many more friends to make. She debuted onto the show with an abundance of mirth and good humor. She was also a hard worker, an inspiration for all who saw her. It feels so sick to see someone so young die so soon. I can only pray that we keep Hana’s dream alive of popularizing women’s professional wrestling. I also hope that we can all grow more empathetic, and realize that there’s another human being on the other side of our computer screens.
木村花さん、ご冥福をお祈りします。ありがとうございました。
