Self Care for a Black American Moving though White Spaces Abroad
by Carlysha Isaac
It has always been a dream of mine to live in another country for at least a year. For as long as I can remember, I thought that there was something uniquely eye-opening about traveling — and I finally got my opportunity when I accepted an offer for a graduate program in Dublin, Ireland. Dublin is a lovely city with some of the friendliest people I have ever met. It is also a city that is rich in both history and culture. With all of that being said, I still cannot help but notice daily reminders that I am a black woman living in a mostly white city. We live in a time where travelling has been at its most accessible to people. And with an increase in representation of black travelers on social media and tourist populations reaching new records, I have wondered during my time here so far: where are all the black people in Dublin?
Don’t get me wrong, there are black people here — technically. However, it is also important to understand that I am a black woman from the DMV area (pre-gentrification). Back home, I know where my favorite beauty supplies stores are, where I can go for the best mac and cheese (besides my dad’s), and where my community is. Things are a bit different here in Ireland. I have found three or four African hair shops in the city so far, and they are all immensely more expensive than the stores back home. A soul food spot around here might as well be a unicorn stable and I have yet to find my black space. That last bit on having a black space is especially crucial. There have been several dialogues and debates on the importance of having safe spaces for marginalized communities since the integration of racial and ethnic diversity in academic and professional institutions. A haven where individuals can breathe and escape from daily microaggressions and feelings of isolation can be very beneficial. And while it is important to mention that there is an AfroCarribean Society (“society” is the term used for student organizations in Ireland) here on my campus, the majority are made up of undergraduate students ranging from age 18 to 21 — and there is a big difference between an 18 year old in undergraduate studies versus a 24 year old in postgraduate studies.
Black people make up roughly 1.6% of the population in Dublin. In fact, we only make up around 1.7% of Ireland’s total population. I will admit that while I did not expect a black population as high as London’s, I at least hope that London’s congestion would help further Ireland’s appeal (aside from Ireland not being nearly as colonizing as England). W.E.B. DuBois’s double consciousness is a concept that comes to mind while living in Europe. It is a term that refers to the experience of members within marginalized communities in a given society. By having several social identities, one may feel that their core identity is being divided into multiple sections — making it difficult to unify all facets of their self-concept. You receive occasional, if not consistent, reminders that you are a member of the other category in that community. Such cues take many forms, like being the only person in the room who looks like you or the all-too-common microaggressive statement or question. For a lot of black people, it is a dance of maneuvering through a space that still has an absence of blackness while also living in your truth and maintaining who you are. James Baldwin painted this beautifully when he said, “I am what time, circumstance, history, have made of me, certainly, but I am also so much more than that. So are we all.”
So, what’s a person to do? Since moving to Dublin, I started doing a number of practices in order to keep my peace strong and my spirit high. As cliche and overused as this sounds, self-care is what has helped prevent me from feeling burned out. I am not predicting a sudden influx of black Americans making their way to Europe to earn a degree (though if the student debt crisis continues, I may just be singing a different tune pretty soon). However, I hope that the following will give some advice for any black woman or person who finds themselves in a European country for more than three months:
- Talk to Someone (Ideally, a Professional)
It cannot be stressed enough how important mental health is. The best time to look into therapy is whatever the time is now, if the option is available. A trained professional can help you develop strategies to manage stressors that life brings. Moving anywhere is a big change and talking to a professional can be beneficial in maneuvering through it. If you are moving abroad for university, your academic institution will most likely provide counseling services that your tuition is going towards. If you are moving abroad for work, you will probably need to attain medical insurance that meets the country’s immigration standards. In this case, you may want to look into insurance that offers coverage for mental health services. Another route worth looking into are apps. Apps such as Talkspace and BetterHelp provide therapy via text messages, live video and phone sessions, etc. They are considered a cheaper and more convenient option to traditional therapy and have gained much credibility in recent years. For Talkspace specifically, employee assistance programs (EAP) and employers have partnered with them for mental health services. It is important to remember that you are not alone in being a person of minority of any given space. Talking to someone who is objective, healthy, and has your best interest in mind can create a safe space for you as you embark on your new journey abroad.
2. Staying in Touch With Your Family and Friends
Moving to a new city or town is always a big step in one’s life. Moving to a new city or town in a different country and on a different continent is an amplified experience. Unless you already have family, friends, and/or some sort of social network in the new place that you are moving to, things can become pretty isolating — especially if you’re in academia or independent projects at work. This makes your already established relationships with your family and friends all the more vital. Take advantage of the technology in today’s world, and make it a point to maintain a connection with your (healthy) primary support system. Of course, the longer your stay is in your new home, the more local friends and connections you will make. However, do not forget your A1’s since day one — as they will be at the foundation of your support.
3. A Movable Feast
There are countless benefits to eating healthier. Flourishing skin, stronger hair, improved moods, and an overall prospering body — just to name a few. When moving to a different country, it is especially important to maintain a healthy diet. Most likely, you will initially move to a major city; where a lot of universities and expat jobs are located. If you are like me, in these major (tourist) cities you will be enchanted by decadent aromas and alleyways dedicated to street food. And all of these are nice to yield to every now and then. I will admit, my not-so-guilty pleasure in Dublin has become chips — known as french fries in the US — and mayonnaise (just hear me out). But as we all know, eating out often is not always the healthiest and budget friendly option. Your best bet is to buy groceries and prepare your meals. For me, meal prepping on the weekends has worked best. If you have dietary restrictions, it is also important to see how that will fit into the food culture of the country you are moving to. With the fight against climate change, many Europeans have, in fact, been decreasing their meat consumption — making it both easy and inexpensive to be vegetarian, vegan, or restricted to certain types of meats while in Dublin.
4. Meditation
The United States is notorious for its fast-paced culture. With common phrases like time is money and time is of the essence, we’re not exactly known for slowing down and taking a moment to breathe. When your journey abroad begins, taking the time to stop, breathe, and relax will allow you to enter in a more peaceful mindset. This can also be referred to as meditation. Meditation comes in many forms: reflecting, visualizing, just simply focusing on your breathing, you name it. Studies have shown that meditating on a regular basis can help decrease anxiety, improve your memory, increase your ability to focus, and so forth. Meditation is also wonderful in that it can be done anywhere! Seriously. Do you have 10 minutes before you need to get out of bed? Meditate. Do you have a moment to spare at your desk? Breathe. Just as Whitley Gilbert learned on A Different World: relax, relate, release.
5. Make Time to Escape
Are you a jogger? A movie goer? A café and novel-combo indulger? By all means, make time for the little things that bring you personal and secluded peace. If you are living abroad for either school or work, chances are that there will be days — if not weeks — that your schedule will be a whirlwind. With all that chaos going on, it is nice to carve out some time to do sometime that you absolutely love. Whether it be volunteering a few days out of the week or working on your series of short stories and poems, escaping the world in healthy moderation can help both clear your mind and calm any life stressors. Another way to escape is to simply shrug your shoulders and spend your free time doing nothing. The Italians have a saying, la dolce far niente or the sweetness of doing nothing. Eat, Pray, Love gives an in-depth crash course in this concept. Instead of using your free moments of the day to scan through social media and/or Netflix Originals, disconnect and take a nap. Or give a friend a ring and have a nice chat as the sun sets. Or go for a walk in the local park and daydream about being an intergalactic traveler who transcends time. Whatever you do, it should answer the question, “what are you up to?” with a blissful, “oh, nothing.” In a lot of ways, I view self-care much like how I view la dolce far niente, as a necessary art.
My time abroad has given me some of the most fulfilling and life changing lessons that I have ever had the privilege to learn. But going abroad comes with its work and challenges. Most of the countries that I have been to, I have been told at least once by someone that I am the first black American that they have met. Their preconceived notions about me and my community are filtered through the media and our entertainment industry — so you can imagine how we may be initially perceived at times. Revisiting the daily reminder of being a member of a marginalized community, I believe that practicing self-preservation through self-care is especially crucial when it comes to travel.
