Compassion; The Road To Forgiveness

There are some important points when it comes to the structure and definition of forgiveness.

I have been one who has made many mistakes in my life, and I have lost a lot of trust that contribute to being some of the biggest, most valuable of things I have lost in my life. I recently read a piece entitled, “Self Compassion” by Kirstin Neff.

Here are some of her points, along with my words on each.

Forgiveness Isn’t the same as condoning behavior.

I feel that this can also be similar to the phrase said a lot, that’s “Forgive but don’t forget.” The forgiveness is able to come through because that part is out of love.

However that does not mean that the victim was no less hurt, in whichever areas of pain, the incident caused. Sometimes there may still be some anger not yet lifted due to lack of time.

But, still, it’s unconditional love that allows a process of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is about recognizing that people are imperfect & that we all make mistakes. That’s the reason we make mistakes; because we’re not perfect.

Any reasonable person will see the imperfections of humans, and realize most people deserve forgiveness.

If someone’s opinion is that a person doesn’t deserve forgiveness, that weight of playing God can be a lot to carry. Ends up doing more harm then good. Holding a grudge won’t validate. Won’t get us anywhere constructive. Let Pain have its process. Leave Judging to your Higher Power.

Forgiveness is about recognizing that people can act out of ignorance, immaturity, fear, or irrational impulses. Sometimes people make harmful choices, simply because they’re out of touch with their essential selves.

This one gets a bit deeper. I agree. I’ve witnessed people act out in all kinds of brutal ways. So that phrase above is accurate. Also, many times, it’s the irrational impulses that are done quickest. Without thinking before the mouths opened. Then real quickly too, as fast as the mouths opened, is how fast it’s realized that they said or did something stupid. Still, the process to accept, and forgive seems to always take much longer, then it took to start the initial problem.

Forgiveness toward others helps us be forgiving of ourselves & accepting of our mistakes. We recognize others are imperfect, make mistakes, or act out of emotional pain or lack of awareness. We recognize the same for us. Self-forgiveness is gained.

I have a much harder time forgiving myself then I do others.I am always my own worst critic. I punish myself much harder. Shame & guilt I can carry from my mistakes is tremendous. If God can forgive me, I should forgive myself.

Goals to acknowledge my own personal defects & stop beating myself up for not being perfect. Accepting our imperfections is healthy. It lifts stress; the type of stress serving no healthy purpose.

As life continues, we should continue to be forgiving,of our resentments, grudges onto, others, & ourselves.

Self Compassion can very challenging.

It is not necessarily something that has to be perfected. God just wants to see the effort be put forth. However it is something we should continue to try to improve on, as we continue to move forward. Do what it best for others, but even more importantly…..Ourselves.