Physically, Mentally, Psychologically, & Emotionally Bankrupt.
Part 1 of 3
A Story Of A Man Who Had Lost His Higher Power, A Story Of What A Life Can Become, Once There’s No Focus On Faith.
It Can Be Fierce & Frightening.
And Most Certainly It’s A Feeling of Being Physically, Mentally, Psychologically & Emotionally Bankrupt.
“A new idea cannot be grafted onto a closed mind. Open-mindedness leads us to the very insights that have eluded us during our lives.” There’s a lot of the reason we become our own victims of having a closed mind.”
“Addiction stripped us of whatever direction we had.”
I sure as hell can say I was stripped of my direction & meaning, & Dignity during my addiction. That is what happens when you have lost your faith, your higher power, your God. You just become Physically, Mentally, Psychologically, & Emotionally Bankrupt”
That’s one of the main reasons my addiction ran so long. It seemed as if each day, I ran further from who at one time was the only one I could turn to. My Higher Power. It’s scary looking back.
The more the addiction grew, the more strength the Devil gained
I also agree with the Just For Today Book, when it discusses denial. Denial stops everything.
Denial Stops us from facing how bad we have gotten. Eliminates the ability to see the big picture. We don’t see how some quality treatment would do us good.
Opportunities become invisible.
“Self dependence and self will, can keep us from admitting even the possibility of the existence a Power greater than ourselves.” I think that means that sometimes we have a lot of pride, that gets in our own way. When looking at the results of our “pride” it shows very quickly how much nonsense it created.
We use our self-will to have fights with our own selves, it we had two heads, then we’d be butting heads. The self dependence, is just another form of co-dependence. Once we develop a co dependence with ourselves, we seemingly start the process of closing the door to our Faith. It just seems like for each step away from GOD, is actually the step of a thousand steps.
Instead of a typical two person co-dependence, we have, a first time ever. A one person co-dependency;
It’s You Vs. You.
That’s usually the strongest type of battle we face, the one against ourselves. It is a battle, searching & waiting to see the end result. Who’s The Winner & Who’s Loser. Obviously though, in this kind of fight, there’s never a winner.
Nothing but one big loser. How can we consider anyone a winner when it’s a fight against our true hearts and souls?
These battles can be the most volatile battles & fights we ever encounter in our lives. Also, the worst part is, the reasons these fights start are usually reasons that are mostly confusing & vague & At times immature too.
Or the reasons are just completely unknown! No reason whatsoever. There is one problem I have, and it is something that is connected to my forgiveness. It is something that I have never forgiven myself for, and it’s something I don’t really believe I have ever really asked God for forgiveness from.
Here is the story related to that self forgiveness; I’ve bullied dozens, perhaps even hundreds. I’m ashamed to say I was so evil, so heartless that I don’t remember much about those I’ve hurt. I probably can only name a tiny fraction of names of those who suffered from my cruelty. There is one though that I know the victim very specifically.
There is one though that I know the victim very specifically. One who’s suffered every single day.There is one person that has been hurt the most from my entire life of bullying.
Undoubtedly I’ve been a bully to many people in my life, I don’t deny that.
However the victim of My most cruelest & most heartless, disgusting bullying has always been ME. I can’t seem to bring myself to forgive me. And forever, I was embarrassed and ashamed to ask My Higher Power.
That Shame and embarrassment held me back for the Longest Time.
