Sorrow in a season of joy
how God is ministering to me in my time of pain
The past month has been a tough one for me personally. I’ve been dealing with the pain of a broken relationship. I spent the last month grappling with the shock and struggling with acceptance that a person whom I had once considered to be a constant in my life was no longer there, leaving for reasons that I had no say or control over. Yet, in the midst of pain and sorrow, I was once again reminded of something that God had placed on my heart as I was serving in Hong Kong on a mission trip a few weeks back.
I had embarked on this trip fresh out of this relationship, feeling the raw weight of this extra emotional baggage. I spent the whole journey there asking God about how much He could use me in all this brokenness that I carried with me. But even as I doubted and questioned, God remained faithful. My team and I hit the ground running as soon as we touched down, immediately being consumed by non-stop ministry preparations and rehearsals. As my team and I ministered in Hong Kong, I witnessed joy. Joy that was inexplicable, non-circumstantial and contagious, joy that reminded me that I am serving a God who is so much bigger than anything any human mind can fathom. Through the work that the local missionaries were doing and their unity in working towards that one common goal, I was reminded of God’s call for me to full-time ministry that I had first received early this year. The joy that I get out of ministry too, is inexplicable.
It was then that I realised that there is so much more to life on this earth that goes beyond just one setback, adversity, or heartbreak, and these don’t at all change what God has called me to do on this earth. If anything, these pains should bring me closer to Him, reminding me once again that there is so, so much lack in this world, and hence my need for a God that is so much bigger than it all.
This does not undermine my pain and human needs that need to be met: physical, emotional, spiritual needs, and above all things my need for love. A heartbreak remains a heartbreak, and a loss will still come with great sorrow, but in all these trials God has already freely given me everything I need to live a life worthy of Christ (2 Peter 1:3).
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”
Matthew 6:33 NIV
Maybe some of you have found yourselves in similar situations in the past year. Situations that seemed bleak, hopeless and desperate. But perhaps in this season of healing we need to take a step back and put our pain in perspective. Take the analogy of a man who struggles with his finances. It is as if he were placing two small coins so close to his eyes that he cannot see anything else but that. However, when he slowly shifts these coins further back, it becomes clear to him that these are so small in comparison to God’s bigger scheme of things.
Similarly, our pain and sufferings can seem like the world to us. We cannot see how life can go on and how God can work through this circumstance that seems impossible. But when we place all our trials next to a God who is eternal, infinite and so much bigger, everything suddenly seems so small and so terribly temporal. Our lives on this earth are but a speck in the timeline that is eternity, and we are but God’s tools, being used in this short lifespan to bring everlasting salvation to the nations.
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in his wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of his glory and grace.”
-Helen Lemmel
As this year comes to a close, it is my prayer that come what may, our lives will continue to reflect God’s goodness, and not our own, because that will never be enough. That we will keep being living testimonies of the grace that we have so freely received. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
James 1:2–4 NIV
Thanks for reading! :) I sincerely hope that my story has encouraged and edified! Not all Christmases are going to be joyful and festive for each of us, but this was a short testimony about how God ministered to me during this season in my pain. God bless!
