The Endless Parade of “Why I Left the Church” Stories (And Why They All Sound the Same)
It’s time for some truth
This is going to probably tick some people off. That is, if it’s read. But…
It’s time for some truth-telling. And here it comes..
The deconstruction journey that many people follow with respect to their Christian faith often reads more like self-centered complaining and entitlement than any kind of quest for truth.
If you read enough deconstruction essays on Medium, you start to notice a sound in the background.
- “I felt…”
- “I realized…”
- “I couldn’t…”
Over and over: I, I, I, I.
It’s the chorus line of every “Why I Left the Church” or “Why I’m No Longer an Evangelical” article or testimony. And after a while, it doesn’t sound like deep reflection at all.
It sounds like a goat bleating in the distance. I…I…I…I.
The formula is predictable:
- Upbringing: “I grew up evangelical.”
- Discomfort: “I started having questions.”
- Personal feelings: “I felt unseen… I felt excluded… I felt unfulfilled.”
- The Turn: “I discovered new ideas from new voices that helped me break free.”
- The Liberation: “Now I’m finally true to myself.”
It’s personal, it’s emotional, and it’s drenched in the language of expressive individualism. My feelings. My truth. My journey.
And the applause comes rolling in.
Ugh.
Just. Stop.
The world does not revolve around you. You are not the sole arbiter of truth and reality. If you think that’s your job, then let me be the first to say:
You’re fired.
Why? Because you’re not qualified.
Or if you’d prefer the polite, HR-approved version: your skills are not a good fit for that position.
The job of determining truth belongs to God, not you.
Now, don’t misunderstand. Personal stories matter. Feelings matter. Because people matter. But…
They don’t end the discussion.
When someone elevates their personal experience to a universal conclusion (like “Because I felt this way, therefore Christianity must be false”), they’ve crossed from testimony into ideology.
It’s the oldest trick in postmodern thought: replace the truth with my truth. Replace external reality with internal experience.
And in the context of faith…replace God with Self.
Real bravery doesn’t come from telling the internet how you feel. Real bravery comes from wrestling with facts, history, and evidence — even when those facts don’t flatter your feelings.
Christianity doesn’t rise or fall on how someone “feels” about it.
It rises or falls on whether Jesus really lived, really died, and really rose again. If Jesus rose from the dead, then the faith stands. If Jesus didn’t, then the faith collapses.
Period.
Doubt me? Read what the apostle Paul says in I Corinthians 15.
Your personal feelings about what some pastor says or how a given church may have treated you have NO BEARING on the central truth claims of the Christian faith.
None.
I don’t like the fact that my parents died. I hate it. But…
They did.
My feelings don’t change reality.
And neither do yours.
I don’t doubt the sincerity of those who write these essays or who go through “deconstruction” journeys. Many are hurting. Many are angry.
I’m not attacking them personally. Or you if I’m describing you.
It’s just that we shouldn’t confuse facts with feelings.
That said, let me also add…
Even though I believe in objective truth, I believe in individual freedom. Truth is objective, but our awareness of it is relative. Each person must be free to pursue their own spiritual journey.
That’s why I support your civil rights, including your freedom of thought and conscience. I affirm your dignity, even if we disagree. And even though I’m blunt here, I want only the best for you.
Okay?
What I’m getting at with this piece is a philosophical discussion and an invitation for you to look beyond your personal feelings and experiences. If we’re talking about God, then that subject — by its nature — goes beyond your limited capacity. You need the humility and self-awareness to acknowledge that.
You may be sincere in your feelings, but sincerity isn’t the same as substance.
The bottom line is…
If God is real, then we didn’t create God. God created us. And, therefore, truth rests with God, not with us.
Your feelings might shape your story. But they don’t get to rewrite reality.
So go ahead and tell your story. Just don’t confuse it with the truth.
Thank you for reading!
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