Thou Shalt Love Without False Dichotomies: A Letter to President Oaks
Dear President Oaks,
When asked what the greatest commandment was, the Lord Jesus Christ responded: “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself’” (Matthew 22:37–39).
You spoke of this scripture in your recent talk in the General Women’s Session of General Conference entitle “Two Great Commandments.” It is a good scripture to begin with, but from there you created two false dichotomies which are not present in the teachings of Christ, and which have dangerous implications for those of us who are LGBTQ+. It is these I wish to address, in hopes of limiting future harm.
Two Commandments or One?
After quoting this scripture, you said that “our zeal to keep this second commandment must not cause us to forget the first, to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind. We show that love by ‘keep[ing] [His] commandments.” This statement establishes the first false dichotomy in your talk.
Jesus made it clear that these commandments are effectively one. He taught this parable:
“When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left. Then the king will say to those at his right hand, ‘Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?’ And the king will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me’” (Matthew 25: 31–40).
The Book of Mormon also teaches this principle. King Benjamin taught that “when ye are in the service of your fellow being ye are only in the service of your God.”
In other words, we love God by loving our neighbor, and as you mentioned, “everyone is our neighbor.” There are no exceptions to this commandment — “Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me” (Matthew 25:45). If we ever fail to love one of our fellow beings, we are failing to love God.
The Law is Love:
Later in your talk you say that because of our desire for those we love to progress and be exalted, “we cannot let our love supersede the commandments and the plan and work of God.” You say that in order to keep both commandments, “we walk a fine line between law and love — keeping the commandments and walking the covenant path, while loving our neighbors along the way.” This is the second false dichotomy.
In saying these things, you would put the law and love at war with each other, as principles which sometimes contradict each other, with the principle of the law being above the principle of love in these situations. But love isn’t something you do along the way when the law allows it — it is the law.
The apostle Paul taught:
“Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet’; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law” (Romans 13: 8–10).
When you quoted Christ’s words at the beginning, you forgot how he ended the declaration: “On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets” (Matthew 22:40). These are not two new commandment; they are the life source of every other one. Love is the ultimate superseding law; every other law hangs on it, is an expansion of it, and cannot be fulfilled without it.
“Mercy Triumphs over Judgement” (James 2:13)
I did not hear Christ’s voice in your words. Christ went out among those that were oppressed and discarded and he embraced them. Yet you have spoken daggers to the hearts of those who are suffering, and excuse yourself by referring to the law — the law which remains unfulfilled without love and which cannot save you.
I struggle to find hope in such a theology as yours. A theology that does not include an equal place for your LGBTQ+ brothers and sisters (or saints from any other marginalized groups) is not a theology of love.
This is who we are (LGBTQ+), and it’s not something we chose or stumbled into; it’s not some unfortunate accident or struggle. We did not come here because we “follow lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender teachings and actions.” It’s how we were formed by God. Yet for this you have consistently marginalized, erased, and abused us.
And it is here in the margins where I have found the voice of God when I could not at church. He came for me when you did not.
I’m not demanding that you agree with us on everything, but let love be more important than agreement. Bind yourself to us in Christ, mourn with us, rejoice with us. Try to see things as we experience them, as best as you can, and then just love.
If our clinging to dogmatism and certainty is harming and marginalizing even one of our brothers and sisters, let alone whole communities, then perhaps we ought to at least question it and be less certain. Perhaps we ought to recognize that our understanding of God’s will is limited by mortality, but that what we do know with certainty is that he loves us. And perhaps we ought to better reflect that love, and to err on the side of mercy rather than judgement.
Only then can we fulfill the law.
With love,
Elijah
