From Shadows to Sunlight: Dialogues with my Inner Child
A heartfelt journey towards self-discovery, companionship, and unconditional love for the forgotten self
I still feel the trigger deeply. The thought of him loving, being intimate, laughing, and holding another woman causes pain in my chest, throat, and jaws. The contraction is so strong that I feel like I’m choking and unable to breathe anymore.
I look at the pillow in front of me and I see her. A girl around 7 years old, surrounded by darkness. Everything is black around her. Her clothes are dark and somber. Her short dark hair falls just above her eyebrows, covering her ears but not reaching her neck. She looks around and I recognize the look on her face. I see that sometimes in my son when he is scared that he did something wrong. She looks around just like that, looking scared, on the verge of crying.
I move to her pillow.
Inner child: It is so dark here. I don’t know how I got here. There’s nothing here. No one… I’m cold… I’m so alone. There’s no one here. I don’t know where everybody is. Why am I here? Why did they leave me here?
I move to my pillow.
I: Oh, little girl, I see you. It must be so hard to be there, all alone, without anyone around, with nothing to play with. I see you. I understand how difficult it must be for you.
Can you tell me, what do you need to be happy?
I move to her pillow.
Inner child: I want to get out of here. I want to see the sun. I want to have friends and play. I want to run, feel the sun on my face, and feel the wind in my hair. And I want to be loved. I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want to be hugged and loved. I want to feel that.
I move to my pillow. I took her pillow into my arms, and waves of love poured into that movement. The child was in my arms and I held her close.
I: Oh, sweet little child. Sweet, sweet little child. My darling little girl, I love you. I am here for you and will not leave you alone anymore. You are mine and I am yours. I want to play with you, run with you, and enjoy the sun and the wind. I want to give you everything you want. I will listen to you and not let you go to that dark place again.
I can create a place for you: a beautiful meadow at the edge of a forest. The meadow is full of flowers and tall grass, where the sun shines and a gentle breeze caresses the ground. Here you can play, run, laugh, chase butterflies, or simply stop and smell the flowers.
And I will keep this beautiful place in my heart so that the warmth of my love will always be with you, even when I am not there. This way, you will know that you are never alone, that I am always with you, and you are always with me.
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My dear child, I see you now in the meadow. You wear a beautiful white dress adorned with red roses. You run barefoot, chasing butterflies, and I smile through tears of joy. My beautiful child… Until tomorrow. I will come to see you every day for as long as necessary — even my whole life — so that you will never feel alone or abandoned again.
I love you.
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