Maria Gets a Facebook

Maria Gets a Facebook

Author’s Note: This is a short story that was written as part of a writing class I took. The assignment was to write a short story for children. I had a kitten at the time who LOVED getting into everything, including walking across my computer. I thought ‘What if Maria had a blog?’ This is the result.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Hello World!

So I’ve finally figured out how to type on Mom’s computer. I wonder why she calls this glowing blue thing a “mouse”? It looks nothing like the real thing.

Anyway, my name is Maria. My mom’s name is Fallon. Mom adopted me last year. Her friend, Heather, drove me from the trailer park I was born in to Mom’s house. Mom lives with her dad, Kip. There are two D-O-G-S here. At first, I wasn’t sure about them, but for dogs, they’re okay. The big gold one is Dalilah. She’s in charge of Bryan, Mom’s brother. The small and hyper one is my buddy, Lola. She’s in charge of Mom’s sister, Kayla. Then, there’s me and Mom.

Mom drives this chair on wheels that goes kinda fast. Sometimes, I get to lay on her backpack and go for a ride with her. What do the humans call that crazy thing, anyway?

Mom loves me a lot, so she lets me do stuff the D-O-G-S don’t get to do. Her friends say she spoils me. “Spoiled” is such an ugly word. I prefer the term “entitled”. I eat by her computer and even lay on it. She gives me treats and shares her human food with me. I follow her around the house, too. Sometimes, she lets me sit in the chair with her. She even let me keep a jingle bell ornament I knocked off the Christmas tree last year. It’s my favorite toy. Mom and me hang out a lot. She plays with me every day. When she pets me, she tells me I’m pretty.

Mom does some weird stuff though! Sometimes, she falls down. When she falls, I go up to her and nudge or lick her to make sure she’s okay. I don’t leave till I see her start to get in her chair. Watching my human fall is scary, but she always gets back up. Sometimes, Mom stays in bed all day because light hurts her. I don’t know why that happens either, but it really upsets her. On those days, I check on her too. When she’s really sick, I go into her room and just lay next to her. It makes her smile, and seeing my mom smile makes me really happy. When Mom’s sad, I let her hold me extra long-even though I really wanna chase Lola around. Holding me makes my human mommy happy, and that makes me happy too. Mommy and me take care of each other. It’s a lot of work, but we don’t care. I heart her, and she hearts me.

Even though I love my mom, we don’t always get along. Lola is gone a lot with Kayla, and a kitten gets bored after a while. I get in trouble a lot. I’m not allowed on the table. I’m not allowed on the counters. I’m not allowed to play with Kip’s sponges. There’s a lot I’m not allowed to do now that I think about it. Mom’s not as fast as her dad, so I have fun with her. I’ll jump on the table, and go to the corner that’s furthest away from Mom. Then, I just sit there and wait. Just as Mom’s about to grab me, I jump to the floor. It frustrates her, but I think it’s funny. If she catches me, she puts me in the pet carrier. I hate that thing! It’s so small! I don’t like small spaces. Being in the carrier means either a.) I’ve made Mom really mad, or b.) THE VET! Yuck! Just typing that makes my whiskers stand on end!

Mom says someday we’ll move out to an apartment. I’d like that. I hate to admit it, but I’d miss the dogs-especially Lola. Now that I’ve learned how to type, I wonder what else I can do! Maybe I can order catnip with this stroke of human genius! Hey, if I can type, anything’s possible! Nah! Internet shopping requires thumbs. I’ll have Mommy do it for me!

Love and Kitten Kisses,




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Fallon Marie

She/her ♿️🇺🇸🏳️‍🌈🤘🏻🦋✝️If you can’t stand up, stand out Writer, cat mom, future therapist, Disney nerd. advocate Hebrews 4:15-16.