Blissful Births
by Rashmi Palkhiwala, Mumbai
When we speak to people about having had our kids at home or having not given them vaccinations or inoculations, a lot of them look at us as if we’ve popped over from Mars. For my husband Jehangir and me, having our kids at home was not a reaction to hospital callousness, or a previous caesarian birth. Having lived our married life outside mainstream medical doctrines for the most part, we couldn’t conceive of any other way to bring our children into the world.
In our quest for information, we got tons of half-baked advice from people. We were told that if we wanted to find a traditional midwife or “Dai” all we needed to do was go into a Mumbai slum and yell for one.
What we did instead was read extensively about the process and talked to anyone we could find who had experienced a home birth. At the time, there was no one we could speak to about home birthing in Bombay. We asked one of Jehangir’s yoga students who is also a doctor to come home at the time of the birth. She insisted that she would be no help without her instruments. We assured her that we wouldn’t need any. All we wanted was her physical presence. Till the last day of my pregnancy, I was doing a special sequence of yoga asanas that was designed to help relieve the discomforts of pregnancy and ease the labour.
My daughter Rishaya, was born after 24 hours of labour . The entire family was involved in various ways: my father-in-law gave me this incredible back massage that made the contractions bearable, my ma-in-law in providing constant refreshments and comfort, and my husband in devising various ways to make me feel good.
It was a beautiful birth. Rishaya didn’t cry at all, she just let out a little bird-like squawk to let us know she was amongst us. Jehangir did everything, from holding the baby as she came out, cutting the cord, and cleaning up the blood and gore … to crying in the bathroom after she was born, because he was so overcome by the experience!
By the time our son Paritosh was born two years later, we felt like stalwarts. We definitely didn’t need anyone beside each other. I didn’t wake Jehangir up till half my labour was over. I wasn’t being enormously brave. It was just an extremely short labour (3 hours!). I was still trying to convince my sleepy husband that the baby was actually on its way out when he incredulously said, “Omigod I can see the head.” Ma-in-law was summarily pulled out of bed to boil twine and scissors for the cord cutting. Paritosh was born while I was under the shower to relieve the discomfort of the contractions.
The most magical part in both the births has been the hour after the birth. The peaceful exultation one feels holding this wondrous new creation, bathed in soft lights and gentle voices, totally in harmony with all the beautiful, spiritual energies of the universe.
It was just too miraculous an experience to keep to ourselves. I now share my natural birthing experiences with new mothers- to- be and we have helped a few mothers deliver their babies at home since then.
