The Allure of the Parent-Teacher Conference

Two days ago I had the distinct pleasure of attending back to back parent teacher conferences for two of my daughters. Given that my wife was out of town for work at a conference, I was riding solo. Needless to say, I felt extra pressure to appear as if I knew what I was talking about (despite the fact that I’m an educator, and former classroom teacher myself). But I digress. It turns out that even though these experiences can be fraught with unnecessary assumptions and baggage on both sides (I remember sitting across the table as a teacher myself), they don’t have to be if both parties come prepared to listen and receive.

Every parent knows that our kids are their own individual handful or delight (depending on the moment of the day of the week). The only other person who likely knows your child’s personality, strengths, weaknesses, and potential (besides yourself, your spouse, and that child his/herself) is your child’s teacher. It pays to have a partner in the process of guiding and growing them into impactful people. Here’s how I was able to leverage the classic parent teacher conference to get on the same page form a true partnership:

I started by hearing them out…

I know, kind of bold, but hear me out. Both of my children are in the unfortunate position of experiencing new teachers mid-year. As parents this is obviously nerve wracking for us, but apparently to a 7 and 5 year old, it’s easy breezy (a month in, both rave about their new teachers in much the same way they did about the old ones). Still, I’m a reasonable parent (I think), so I at least needed to understand what their philosophy was before I shared my litany of ideas about what they should be doing and why. Here’s what I discovered: they both obviously know their stuff (content wise) and what’s better, they both know our child.

Then, I shared our (my wife and I) expectations…

We expect a lot, but we’re also willing to give a lot. Quick side note, a few days earlier we had the girls complete an activity where they wrote (or drew) what they cared about, what they were interested in, and a few goals they have for themselves over the next few months. It’s something we’re trying to develop in them, a stronger awareness of their strengths, passions, and goals. I shared this with both of my daughters’ teachers as a way to steer our conversation. To my pleasant surprise, in both cases the teachers not only could provide evidence to affirm this insight, but they also began suggesting ways to leverage this in their practice. Even when I had questions that they didn’t have a ready answer for, what I appreciated most was the honest reply of, I don’t know but I’ll check. Transparency. Now that’s the glue of a strong partnership.

Who knows where we’ll go from here since this is obviously just the beginning. The point is, we’ve established a foundation of trust that will hopefully lend itself well to future decisions, made jointly about what’s in the best interest of our girls.

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