Impending Parenthood
This past Friday was my last day in the office before my maternity leave. A new adventure of parenthood is just around the corner, waiting for us with new life and so much love I’m not sure my heart will be able to bear it. Though every new parent has told us the first few weeks or months (or years?) will be exhausting, my husband and I are looking forward to those precious weeks when it’s just the three of us (five if you include our furry friends).
Yet when I looked around the room during our weekly Friday Afternoon Meeting, I was acutely aware of the things I would be missing out on. Feeling the team’s energy and momentum but knowing that my own path at the company would be on temporary hiatus felt a little bit like pausing a song just when it’s building up to the good part. I’ll return to many unfamiliar faces and an enthusiastic mini-hoard of interns. How will I learn everyone’s names?
As my belly grows impossibly heavier each week—babies grow half a pound a week towards the end of the third trimester—I am so appreciative of the people and company ideals at Medium. My maternity leave is unheard of for a company of our size in the United States and I’ve felt nothing but excitement and overwhelming support in making my transition to motherhood and later, motherhood and work, as easy as possible.
But I’m not delusional. Despite the unfortunate fact that the support I have is an exception rather than the norm (see this infographic comparing U.S. maternity leave vs. other developed countries), I know it will be difficult. I like plans and having some expectations of what will happen next. Dealing with the uncertainty of not knowing whether our baby will be fussy or mellow and what that means for both of our startup-centric lives has certainly caused some anxiety.
Working in startups has taught me to ruthlessly prioritize, to have long-term vision and ideals but execute in the short-term, one milestone at a time. For having a baby, that means installing a carseat and finding a pediatrician before spending hours on nursery wall art or stocking the freezer with lasagna (by the way, we haven’t done any of those things yet, but at least they are prioritized appropriately…).
Today, I’m trying not to worry about whether or not we should be putting our unborn child on preschool waiting lists, and to enjoy this brief diaper-less moment of quiet when our daughter is still in my belly.
