Controlled Crying for Executives
In clearing out my mother’s bookcases, I came across her version of Dr Spock’s Baby Boomer bible, “Baby and Childcare”. This book topped the bestseller lists for over 40 years, meaning that babies raised under his guidance are now running the world.
While Trump and Biden are too old for their mothers to have heeded the advice, Putin, Bolsanaro and Netanyahu all fall within Spock’s global spell. The same is true for Jobs, Wozniak and Cook at Apple… Bill Gates, Satya Nadella and Jeff Bezos. Chances are, it’s true of your CEO or senior manager. With that in mind, it’s time we revisit the old doctor’s advice for how to deal with these big crybabies.
The most useful advice comes from sections 281–283 about spoiling (and unspoiling) your Executive.
Dr Spock explains that first-time employees and people who have long sought a job are most prone to spoiling their Executive. They find the novelty of work exciting and are apt to project their hopes and dreams onto the potential wisdom of their Executive.
These employees are “too willing to sacrifice their own comforts and their own rights — too anxious to give the Executive anything he asks for. This might not be too bad if the Executive knew what was sensible to ask for. But he doesn’t.”
Obviously, Spock’s masculine language is sexist — we all know women are capable of being unreasonable, emotional and demanding executives, but sexist is as sexist does so we’ll play into the pay gap and keep the masculinised language.
Dr Spock warns that if a new employee is too eager to attend to the Executive whenever he fusses, they’ll soon find the Executive fretting and asking to be carried in almost every scenario.
“He realises after a while that he has the poor tired worker under his thumb and he becomes increasingly disagreeable and tyrannical in demanding these services.”
Rather than become a willing slave to your Executive, Dr Spock recommends immediate intervention.
“It takes a lot of willpower and a little hardening of the heart,” he says. “But unreasonable demandingness and excessive dependence are worse for the Executive than you. They get him out of kilter with himself and the world.”
He recommends making a schedule to keep yourself busy any time the Executive is awake. When your Executive frets, tell him in a firm but friendly tone that “this job and that job MUST get done this afternoon.
“Though he doesn’t understand the words, he does understand the tone of voice. Stick to your busy work. The first hour of the first day is the hardest. Once your Executive becomes absorbed in something else he adjusts more quickly.”
There is a final caution about getting down to your Executive’s level to engage with their interests or needs.
“Be aware of running around or fulfilling every suggestion that pops to the front of mind for fear of undoing all your good work.”
