Appreciate and be Grateful
We have all been working hard. We are using PopChart.Family with the kids. It is really working. My oldest no longer leaves his dishes and trash on the table when he leaves the table at meal times. My youngest is potty trained and has few accident even at night!! My middle child’s manners are impeccable! For a seven year old that is saying something. And by the way, this is my daughter speaking. She is thrilled how successful the point system has been for her.
But there are other behaviors to identify and conquer. We were talking the other day and she was telling me that she is having a hard time with some of her seven year old’s behaviors. I told her to use her PopChart.Family. When you see the oldest pick up his dishes and trash then take care of it give him a few points with verbal praise. Her response was immediately “But I expect him to do that.” Of course she does because her point system really worked. There are a few points I need to make.
1. This is the perfect time to reinforce the positive behavior using the point system. Using intermittent rewards to reinforce good behavior continues the good behavior and makes the child feel appreciated, capable and raises their self confidence. Just tell them: “Thank you. I appreciate that you are cleaning up after yourself and putting things where they belong. By doing this, you are making my life easier and I am so grateful. I am going to give you points for being so helpful.” This shows everyone that you are not taking that child for granted.
2. Reinforcing the positive behavior of one child sends a powerful message to your other children that may not be as cooperative in clean-up situations. Children really do want to please their parents. They want to be rewarded as well. When this happens you will notice that the other children will probably follow suit and do the same as the one that received all the praise. So don’t forget the verbal praise and points for them as well. You want this to happen again. So catch them being good. If you want to change behavior you need to look for the positive opportunities to reward those reluctant learners. The combination of both is what makes this program really work. Focus on the behavior when using praise. “Name, I really appreciate the way you cleaned up after yourself. That helps me so much! I am grateful to you for doing this. Point for you!” Do this with each child that does the task or just use both their names at the beginning of your verbal praise. Make sure you have their attention then begin the praise.
3. Sticking to the program will help make your life easier in the long run. Don’t forget to use it! Consistency and catching the kids doing the right behaviors increases the chance that the good behaviors continue. Use the PopChart.Family system to reinforce, to change and to enjoy the wonderful children that you have.
4. Be Appreciative and Grateful! What a great way to pass those characteristics on to your children.
Remember, children will respond to points given generously and with great enthusiasm! A wonderful part of this type of intervention is being able to celebrate the successes, both big and small, along the way and help your kids feel empowered and proud of their accomplishments! Doing the boogie dance at the end of the day sure beats screaming in the shower any day!
About the Author
Anita Licklider has a MS in Educational Management, credentials in special education, general education, counseling and School Psychology. She has over thirty years of experience working with children in and outside the educational setting.
She has done individual and group counseling with kids from 4 years to 16 years old.
Anita also developed and implemented behavior intervention plans for special education and general education students and families. She advocated for kids writing IEP and 504 plans for the school districts.
