16 Easy Self-Care Options to Fight Depression, Anxiety, and Overwhelm
Or, how I’ve dealt with the worry, doubt, and stress that comes with parenting.
It’s no surprise to anyone that taking good care of yourself is imperative in order to take good care of others — specifically your little mini-me’s running around. But so much of your attention is focused on your kids that you easily forget to prioritize your own health. Or when it comes to mind, you dismiss it because who has time?
If you're a parent you know how common it is to put your own care on the back burner often due to time constraints or exhaustion. You focus so much of your attention on your kids that it seems easier to put off your own mental and physical health in order to keep up with the daily demands of parenthood.
But as I’m sure you know, it’s near impossible to care for your kids when you’re beyond exhausted, frustrated, or overwhelmed.
So here are sixteen easy ways any parent can show themselves a little more love on a daily basis. Most only require ten or fifteen minutes of your time in order to be effective.
1. Books
Whether you’re reading a science-fiction paperback or magical realism on your tablet, getting lost in someone else’s story and world is a great reprieve from your own. Sometimes just having that break inside your head can give you the energy needed to get back to your own to-do list, chaos, family drama, or pandemic-induced stress.
My favorite is to listen to a great horror audiobook with my library app while taking a walk. My life always looks much easier in comparison to being a clueless teenager walking into an abandoned cabin in the woods and finding a serial killer dressed as bigfoot.
2. Podcasts
There are more than 43 million podcast episodes to choose from. Whether you listen to humor, how-to, politics, entertainment, sports, or personal stories, you can bet there's something that will allow you to disconnect from your own reality for a bit. Sometimes that’s all it takes to go back to your day with a fresh perspective.
Often I’ll listen to one of my favorite podcasts while I’m doing my mundane tasks for the day — driving to run errands, doing laundry, running the vacuum, or dusting. This helps keep my mind from wandering into the oh-no-I-forgot-to-[fill in the blank here] causing me to feel overwhelmed. It also has me looking forward to my daily chores rather than avoiding them.
3. Meditate
If you haven’t already tried meditation and love it, it’s time to give it a go. Meditating has been a life-changer for me. InsightTimer is my go-to app for all things meditative.
They have guided meditations, courses, meditation specifically to help you sleep, and even bedtime stories for adults as well as kids. I often use the InsightTimer app every single night to help me drift off at bedtime in a highly relaxed state.
I really like how I can save the meditative guides I like most in this app to easily find them again later. And they have free and paid versions —you’ll find both are fantastic options.
4. Exercise
There’s nothing quite like the euphoria you experience during a great sweaty workout. But if that’s not your thing, a brisk walk can also do wonders to clear your head, relax your body, and give you a boost of energy to take on the rest of the day.
If exercise feels like the last thing in the world you’d want to carve out time for, consider what your definition of exercise means. If you’re picturing running 5k every other day, change your mental picture. Not everyone is a runner. Maybe yoga is a better fit for you — or lifting weights, or Zumba, or dancing around your living room with or without clothes.
I like changing it up most days of the week otherwise I get bored. That works for me. The point is to find what works for you.
Physical exercise is a cornerstone to healthy living. You only get one body to use throughout your life so choosing to make it a priority will help you enjoy the time you have with your little ones even more.
5. Shower
Hot water pouring over your tense muscles can quickly help you unwind and relax whether it’s after a fun workout or not. There’s something hypnotic about the soaking warmth that spreads over you.
If a long soak in the tub is more your style, a bathtub full of bubbles can be just as relaxing — and often more fun.
A quick shower can be invigorating as well. Some folks need coffee to wake up in the morning. I need a hot shower to rid myself of last night’s sleepiness.
6. Have a drink
Sometimes a drink with friends can be exactly what you need. And then other times it's a single glass of red cuddled up alone in a cozy corner of your home with no one but the dog keeping your feet warm.
If alcohol’s not your thing, then a warm cup of your favorite tea or coffee can be just the ticket to transverse to a quieter, calmer place in your mind.
The trick is to take your time with whatever beverage you choose. Enjoy every sip of your drink — smell it, taste it, feel the warm sensation spread over you as you swallow it down.
7. Workbooks
Coloring books, dot-to-dots, Sudoku, word search, crosswords — these could be a few of your favorite things. These workbooks can be your new evening go-to instead of endlessly scrolling through Netflix or Hulu and finding the same exact options as the previous night — all of which you’ve already binge-watched or look extremely unappealing for a multitude of reasons.
Puzzle books like these can keep your mind actively focused on some trivial problem rather than all those little issues that randomly popped up throughout the day. Fifteen minutes of coloring or puzzle-solving can be a simple break — or personal reward — when you need it.
8. Sunshine and Nature
Nature can have a magical effect on a person. Fresh air and sunshine have been proven to improve your mood, immune system, and blood pressure.
Listening to ocean waves at the beach, the scent of wildflowers along a mountain hiking path, and the warmth of the sun at the city park can all be peaceful, calm places to relax.
Sometimes I like to lie on top of our huge trampoline in the backyard, face pointed upward at the sky, and close my eyes. There’s something about the glow of the sunshine above me and the summer breeze against my face that is most relaxing.
If the weather is not cooperating, try sitting in front of a window. Sunshine can physically make you happier because of its effects on your hormones. Sunlight can trigger the release of serotonin which can elevate your mood and make you feel more relaxed and calm.
9. Spoil your pets.
It’s been proven that pets decrease stress and anxiety. They can be exactly what you need if you suffer from depression or have difficulty socializing. Therapy pets exist because of the ability animals have to calm those around them.
Focusing on the welfare of your four-legged family members can be rewarding. Of course, it’s always nice to feel needed, but your dog will always greet you with excitement and love too. You could yell at them and they’d still want to show you affection — not that I recommend that.
10. Call and talk to a friend
Everyone could use someone to talk to now and again. Someone to bounce your ideas off, someone who will tell you you’re not crazy for grounding your kid for smearing gum into his sister’s hair, someone who will listen to you complain, or cry, or crack up without judgment.
Every parent can use a good support system. Friends and family can both be good options for this. (I have my sisters as well as my bestie on speed-dial.)
11. Hobbies
Creative endeavors like writing poetry, painting figurines or canvases, crafting, sewing, wood carving, or even gardening can improve your mood if they’re activities you enjoy. Some mental health providers will even ‘prescribe’ hobbies to their patients who are suffering from depression.
Creativity ignites a part of your brain that’s responsible for releasing feel-good chemicals such as dopamine. It’s the soothing feeling during the creation process that’s most important.
There are so many hobbies out there that if knitting doesn’t appeal to you, you can try embroidery, painting, beer-making, soap carving, geocaching, hiking, fashion design, salsa dancing, playing guitar, or bird watching. The point is that if trying something doesn’t end up exciting you or entertaining you, there are many more that might.
12. Keep a journal
Maybe you’re only writing down those things that give you joy or the things you’re most grateful for. Or maybe you write down every little thing that irritated you on a given day or that broke your heart.
Whatever you’re journaling, it’s completely up to you and for your eyes only. And that’s what is so freeing about the experience.
If your writing is more verbal diarrhea filled with frustration, sadness, and anger, you’re probably not going to revisit it. The act of writing it all down and then closing the book on it all is the point — so go nuts.
If you’re journaling all the things you’re happy about, grateful for, and excited about, you’re more likely to reread what you’ve written at some future time. This can be encouraging and insightful into what truly brings you joy in your life and maybe what you should continue doing and focus more on.
13. Have a cry
Similar to journaling, sometimes it’s best to simply get it all out. If you’re on the verge of crying it’s because your body is trying to relieve built-up emotions that are flooding your system and bogging down your physical, mental, and emotional self.
Crying can actually lower your blood pressure. It also removes toxins like excess cortisol and manganese from your body, both of which can wreak havoc on your system in the form of stress, anxiety, and irritability.
Shedding tears is a normal, healthy way to process and express emotion.
14. Laugh it up
If things aren’t overwhelming enough to spark tears, laughter might be the better option for you. It has many benefits.
Laughter improves your ability to take in oxygen which helps stimulate your internal organs as well as increase endorphins produced by your brain. It also improves your circulation which can relieve stress and soothe strained, tension-filled muscles.
There are even long-term effects of laughter including pain relief and an improved immune system — sometimes laughter does make the best medicine.
So look over some old photos of your kids acting goofy, watch a comedy or your favorite stand-up comedian, or have a good chuckle over how silly your cat gets chasing the wind-up mouse you bought her for Christmas last year and literally laugh out loud.
15. Time Alone
There is no reason to feel guilty for wanting some time to yourself. As human beings, we need to be able to understand ourselves and process our emotions and that’s not always easy or possible when you’re surrounded by little ones.
Spending time with yourself can actually improve your confidence and creativity as well as allow you to better understand your own emotions. And all of this will make caring for your kids more pleasant and easier.
16. Music
Whether you’re singing along in the car or dancing around your kitchen table, listening to music can affect your mood, thoughts, and even behaviors. Just think about the last time you drove to the store listening to your favorite upbeat song. You were tapping your steering wheel and belting out the chorus between stoplights.
A great song can leave you feeling energized and happy — or even sad and melancholy depending on the lyrics and tone of the piece.
When I’m feeling unmotivated, down, or stressed out, I have a playlist I listen to that includes Bishop Briggs, One Republic, Flo Rida, and Lizzo.
Should you seek help?
Sometimes it’s impossible to fight depression on your own. If none of the above self-care options work for you, or if none of them are helping enough, it’s time to get some help.
Therapy
Whether it’s a family doctor you finally decide to confide in, or a licensed therapist or psychiatrist you see every week, seeking help from a professional is always a smart decision. They can help you sort through the things you feel are hindering you, making you mad or sad, or frustrating you beyond belief.
Therapy isn’t always forever either. A good therapist will help you for as long as necessary — no more, no less.
If dark thoughts and/or feelings such as suicide, harming others, or harming yourself are things you struggle with, seeking help from a professional is your first step. I encourage you to contact someone immediately.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800–273–8255
Medication
If you have little ones relying on you, understanding the importance of good mental health is extremely important. Poor mental health can not only be detrimental to you but also to those loved ones who rely on you so much.
Overwhelm, frustration, irritability, anxiety, sadness, and anger can all be signs that you could benefit from medication or therapy or some combination of the two. This, of course, must be something you discuss with your doctor.
There’s nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it.
To be the most effective parent and human being possible, you need to make your mental and physical health priorities. Implementing self-care throughout your day — every single day — is an easy way to keep yourself on track. And remember, by taking care of yourself you’re setting a precedent for your kids to do the same as they get older.
