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Being a Parent Is Hard, but Being an Unloved Child Is Harder
Why “your parents did the best they could” isn’t always comforting things to hear.
“Being a parent is really hard.”
My heart sank as I read my father’s words. We had been estranged for years when I received a handwritten letter from him. Littered amongst the apologies were several justifications for his mistreatment of me. All of them came under the theme of parenting is hard and I will understand that now I have my own child.
He’s right. Parenting is hard. I often feel I am not cut out for it. Sometimes I feel resentful and miss my old life when I could pee without an audience and eat a meal without little hands creeping across my plate to squeals of “Ooo yummy! Can I have this?”. Sometimes I feel really angry. Sometimes I feel very alone. Most of the time I have a nagging feeling of “I have no idea what I am doing.”
But never, for one second, have I felt that is my child’s problem.
Never, for one second, have I felt the urge to tear down my daughter.
And never, ever, not even for one second, have I wished she was someone else.
