Four relaxation tips for mamas
How new moms can lean into a much-earned break
The first few times baby could finally sleep in his crib, I did not know what to do with myself. I had daydreamed about getting this solid two-hour break for so long, and when I finally had it, I had no clue where to begin.
I had intended to do so many things, like doodle in my journal, write a draft for a mama article, edit a piece of Filipino fantasy fiction, message back other friends on Whatsapp, call my mom. Do pelvic floor exercises. Before I knew it, my two hours had come and gone. And all I had managed to accomplish were doing my make-up and cutting my toenails.
My growing baby was fast becoming an active toddler. He had me running around playgrounds, bending over and breaking my back. He was also beginning to sleep a lot less during the day. How could I recharge, when I had decided to care for him 98% of the time until he was two?
In my quest for answers, I began asking other mothers what they did. Here are some nifty tips and tricks that they shared with me that helped me. They might help you too.
Take a day off
It all began when a mom of a two-year old told me that she “took Sundays off” and did things for herself that day. She did say it was a method that worked well during the pre-CoVid era, when she could take a good part of the day to go into town, grab a cup of coffee, and wander the streets of Paris. Sometimes, she’d practice a bit of retail therapy on herself. These days, she has since expanded to creating a vlog about a Filipina living in Paris. Which she works on when her toddler is napping.
Shut the door
A neighbor of mine shared that her partner took over care of the baby every afternoon by five o’clock. This he would do for several hours so that she could rest. I asked what she did during those two to three hours she had to herself when at home. She said that the secret was to do no housework, get herself into a quiet room, and keep the door shut during the agreed-upon timeframe. So even if baby were to come banging on the door, papa would retrieve baby so mama could focus on what relaxed her.
Ask yourself key questions
The same mama friend I mentioned above had several key questions to ask herself when indulging in her much-needed period of rest.
What energizes me? she would ask. In her case, she found that getting her body moving always gave her more energy. She continued her dance classes via Zoom during the height of the coronavirus lockdowns, and on some occasions, would take to the nearest Swiss Alp (Flumserberg, in the case of us expatriates living in Zurich). There, she would spend a few hours skiing during the wintery months.
Her story inspired me so much that I began asking myself the same question. What gave me energy? In my case, sometimes it was as simple as retail therapy: browsing the shops at the main station or the main thoroughfare. I tried getting myself new lingerie, something I had not enjoyed during most of my pregnancy and throughout an entire year of breastfeeding baby. What a joy to lavish something delicate and lacy on my body.
Other times, working on a new essay invigorated me. Having that intellectual stimulation, that sense of purpose that came with sculpting an article to public readability, gave me joy.
And yet other times, all it took were a few minutes of sun salutations or some good stretches on baby’s play mat while he napped.
So ask yourself, what will restore your energy while baby snoozes?
Is it a good nap yourself? A quiet cup of coffee while listening to bossa nova from the balcony? Gardening? Reading a good book? Going on a quiet hike by yourself, no matter how brief?
Whatever it is, figure out where your joy lies and pursue that, spend time with that. You’ll come back to baby with a cup of happiness refilled, ready to give more to your little one.
Take turns
One mom I asked said that her secret to caring for a baby full-time was that papa had alone time on Saturday mornings when she took the baby out — and they would switch roles in the afternoons, when papa would care for baby so that she could have time to herself. On those occasions, she said that she would not allow herself any housework, so that she could take a real break.
“When you’re at home during your downtime, you’re tempted to do housekeeping,” she said. So she would go out, indulge in a massage, or meet up with a friend for a “walking coffee date” during the pandemic era.
I loved taking home these tips on how to care for oneself from mama friends. Because every mother needs her cup of happiness filled, giving her more joy and love to spill over to those closest to her and who need her most.
