How I Am Coparenting During Quarantine
What you can learn from my mistakes as a single mother.
Let’s make one thing clear, quarantining with my 10-month-old son kicked my parenting butt. However, it does not have to kick yours.
My ex-boyfriend and I are separated. Due to our separation and the pandemic, we are co-parenting with caution. I decided that my 10-month-old son was better off isolated from all loved ones outside of the immediate family, including his father. Why? We both live currently with family members and since the majority of our relationship has been long-distance, this is the result.
The plan was simple and clean. He lives with me, come to visit our baby boy on holidays periodically (approx. once a month). It worked…until it didn't. Tension arose when my son’s bottom teeth sprouted but my ex wasn't there for the teething and waking up to see the gummy smile as left. Or, the first time he crawled left to right across my bed. These moments are priceless and I have every waking moment with our first child’s development.
Why did it come to this? I have been extra protective because of the pandemic and trying to social distance at home via video chat. I know for a fact while I am at home, I cannot guarantee everyone in every home is actively social distancing….
So here is my advice on what to do in a similar co-parenting household
- Make sure there are clear cut boundaries.
- Allow as much socialization as possible
- Assure the other party if needed that after everything is settled, things will go back to normal
- Inform and walk the parent through every baby milestones or cheesy photo between video chats
- Gift exchanging doesn't hurt! especially during holidays to show love and gratitude
With these key steps, it helped my baby’s father feel rather included in our day to day lives. I learned that communication literally is key even if the details given would have been irrelevant outside of the quarantine!
