How To Set A Routine For Your Kids While Staying Safer At Home
5 Tips From An Occupational Therapist
The year 2020 has been a year of the unknown for both us and our children and as we go into 2021 still facing so much unknown, it goes without saying that things are challenging. In the midst of all the changes over the last year, our kids went from having a set routine — wake up, school, after school activity, dinner, shower and bed — to being home all day with no routine or certainty on what will happen next. Bedtimes have been pushed later, kids don’t know when they are going back to school and, often, each day brings some level of uncertainty that can lead to meltdowns, tears and a bit of chaos.
It is difficult to be a parent through this pandemic, and it has been a challenge to establish new routines — not only for our little ones but also for ourselves.
Routines give children (and adults) a sense of security. They allow kids to know what to expect, prepare themselves and stay regulated (control of their body and emotions). Talking about creating a routine is easy, but doing so can be a completely different story! Here are my tips to successfully create a new routine mid-pandemic:
- Get your kids involved: I always say that when you give your kids a little bit of power, you are actually giving yourself even more power. That is because when kids feel included in the decision-making, or in this case routine-making, process, they feel valued and empowered to follow through. The choices can be simple. You can let your kids pick if they want to do bath or dinner first, or when they do their chores.
2. Make a visual: And make it big! Put a visual somewhere that everyone in the family will see — like the kitchen. This will remind everyone of the routine, especially in the beginning, and help the family stick with it. Remember to add pictures for your little ones that can’t yet read.
3. Keep it consistent: Consistency is key… and challenging, but eventually the routine will become second nature. When you first establish the routine, be sure you set alarms for bedtime and prepare ahead to help things go smoothly. This might mean laying clothes out the night before or planning dinner for the week on Sunday night.
4. Don’t be too specific: A routine is not hour by hour; it’s step by step. It’s a way to create a general plan for your day. There is no need to specify exactly how many books you will read before bed or the exact time you will eat lunch; instead, focus on the order that things are done. For example, every day after zoom school your kids have a break to play, shower, dinner, wind down time and bedtime. You don’t need to specify things like what wind down time is or where they will play. Bedtime needs to be more specific, but create space for flexibility within the routine. Being too specific will make it impossible to stick with it and will become extremely overwhelming.
5. Reward yourself for sticking to it: Make starting a routine fun! You want to incentivize sticking with it. After one full week of a successful routine, have a family movie night or go for ice cream. This will help you in the beginning when you are just trying to get it established; once the routine is second nature, you won’t need the rewards anymore.
We are all a little dysregulated right now but creating a new routine will help tame the chaos and bring some comfort to you and your kids amidst all the changes. Don’t give up if it doesn’t go smoothly the first week. You may have to adjust a few things and it will take time to get used to, but stick with your routine! In the end, it will be worth it.
