“I Don’t Love My Child” - When Mums Can’t Bond With Their Baby
And no, it doesn’t make them bad mothers.
“You’ll feel a rush of love.”
I’ll never forgive whoever came up with this lie. Sure, some women do feel that rush of love the first time their newborn is placed in their arms. But some women don’t. In fact, difficulties with bonding affect a third of mums in the UK. And those are just the mums who have spoken out and asked for help. Statistics are influenced by levels of reporting, and I strongly suspect there are many more mums out there who are too ashamed to speak out about how they are feeling.
The expectation that you should instantly love someone you have just met is pretty weird when you think about it. Reflect on any other relationship in your life. It most likely took time to build a bond with the person you call your best friend. Even if it was “love at first sight”, building a strong and healthy bond with your significant other would have taken time too. And these bonds are still being worked on because that’s the nature of relationships.
So why should your bond with your baby be any different?
I felt a strong bond with my daughter whilst I was pregnant. And when she was put on my chest after I had…
