I Don’t Yell at My Kids for the Same Reason I Don’t Yell at Yours
Holding parents to the same standard as teachers
As an administrator, I’ve evaluated scores of teachers. As an instructional coach, I’ve trained dozens with non-evaluative conversations aimed at improving their craft. I’ve built hundreds of relationships this way, and learned that doing so is an art.
As both an educator and a parent on the other side of the educational mirror, I’ve worried about some of the abuses of power I’ve witnessed teachers inflict. I’ve seen both teachers and parents dismiss their own abusive behaviors, sometimes half-jokingly, as being the fault of the children. These two forces both displaying the same unhealthy dynamic is highly concerning for all of our children.
Teachers have a huge amount of power over their students and are trained and taught to build and foster relationships that take the balance of this power into account, and understand their responsibility to do so in the context of this power.
This power is referred to as in loco parentis, essentially the idea that schools take both authority and responsibility from the parents and function in replace of the parents when in school. The extent of this authority and responsibilities varies from state to state, as well as globally.
