Learning Differences Part 8: Limiting Homework
Numerous studies have shown that there is no benefit to homework in elementary school, and that middle school homework should be very limited. Unfortunately, your average public school doesn’t know this and may start doling out the homework in kindergarten! This can be a very heavy load for a child with learning differences.
It is very important to advocate for time limits on your child’s homework. Kids have many developmental tasks and needs outside of school. Make sure they have time for them.
If school remains difficult and unrewarding for your child, then it is even more imperative they have the opportunity to be involved in other activities that float their boat. We all need multiple things in life that we value. Family, friends, work, hobbies, gardens, people we help, favorite places to walk, simple pleasures. All these things add strength and depth to our lives. If disaster strikes one, then the others are there to provide balance.
If your child doesn’t click with school, then it is extra important they have other activities where they do click. It could be karate, or swimming, or Lego club, or video camp, or art classes. Whatever they love to do that taps into their skills and abilities.
School, especially grade school, is not the only place that we learn the skills of life. You can help them find and validate their abilities. While you’re at it, you can remind them that in college they can pick for themselves what topics to explore. That’s much more fun than grade school! And remind yourself that maybe they will become a firefighter, a personal trainer, a massage therapist, or graphic designer. Give them space and time to find their place in the world.
There are many ways to reduce the homework load for your child. A math assignment of 10 problems could cover five variations on a concept. If they do one of each variation, the load is cut in half while still addressing all the areas of learning. Spelling lists can also be cut in half or more. A child with dyslexia may be working extremely hard to learn three or four words per week. So that’s enough. They don’t need to do 10–15 spelling words.
Some kids with dysgraphia may spell just fine but need extra time to write out the answers on a quiz. For them hand writing a sentence for 10 spelling words may take an hour. Kids with dyslexia or dysgraphia may do well with a parent acting as a scribe. They tell you what to write, and you write it down. This frees them to learn without running into their learning obstacle. As kids get older, voice-to-text software or typing on a computer may also become valuable tools.
Be aware that the end of the school year can lend itself to fatigue and burnout. Your child who has been keeping up in past months may suddenly get behind in school work. If you keep an eye out for this, you may head of trouble, but don’t be surprised if they become overwhelmed.
How you handle this is important. Don’t come down hard on them and take away privileges. You want your kids to learn to come to you and their teachers when they are running into trouble. If you take all the joys out of their life then they will just avoid you when they get behind.
They are not being “bad” kids. For whatever reasons, they got behind and now they need help learning how to dig themselves out of the hole they’re in. If possible arrange a meeting of parents, teachers, and student. Make it about supporting them and helping them come up with a plan.
Don’t expect them to make up all the missed work. Ask the teachers what is most important. Break up the assignments into manageable bites. Write out a plan for your kid with a modest amount of work each day. Give them a small immediate reward at the end of each daily assignment. It could be candy, a sticker, whatever feels like a reward for your kid.
Also, work out a bigger reward they get when it’s all caught up. Again, gear it towards what feels like a big reward to your kid. It could be a Hot Wheel, stuffed animal, trip to the park with friends, or for older kids a software upgrade for a computer game. Along the way be sure to praise your child for all the hard work they are doing.
All this may not go smoothly. In fact, it’s often rough on parents and child alike. They may feel deeply frustrated by this work. It may require them to use their brain in a way that demands intense effort.
Try to stick to small bites of work, short sessions, and lots of praise for work done. Expect it to be a challenge to your patience and good will. Deep breath. Focus on the big picture. You’re helping your child learn how to do tough stuff. None of us are very good at that, and it doesn’t usually bring out the best in us. Most of us get ornery and defensive. Expect that push back. It will take time and repetition for them to learn.
Your goal is to become a trusted helper so that you can continue to guide them as they progress. That focus is more important than the actual homework problems. Really!
Next week Part 9: Protecting Your Child’s Love of Learning
Kathleen Cawley is a physician assistant and author. She is a regular guest columnist for the Auburn Journal and Folsom Telegraph where she writes on parenting and childhood. Her books, Navigating the Shock of Parenthood: Warty Truths and Modern Practicalities — from a mom with twins, And Grandma Becky’s Blue Tongue, a children’s picture book, are available where books are sold.
