How to Properly Season Your Meats and Maintain a Healthy Marriage
Marriage is both the short answer and the process by which I traveled to a more respectable place in the kitchen.
How did I get from there to here?
It’s a question I’ve asked myself a lot since traveling down the strange but trippy path of parenting and marriage, and it’s become a special point of irony when it often pops into my grey matter while working in the kitchen. It’s ironic because I hate cooking.
My pasta was mostly edible and would feed you, without pleasure, for days.
Once upon a time, my idea of a meal was what could easily be obtained from any fine eatery, like a supermarket or convenience store, but usually a restaurant. For me, spending time in the kitchen was, and arguably still is, frustrating, often frustrating, and usually a guaranteed disaster.
A few years ago, before a family gathering, my wife’s grandmother salaciously admitted to us that she “didn’t like cooking at all.” It’s a fact apparently not commonly known amongst her progeny, but I found validation in her confession.
Fuck cooking.
In my heart of hearts, I’d prefer that we, the kitchen and I, remain strangers. The Cosmos, though, being the master of good…
