Mama, Why Don’t You Wear Dresses Every Day?

Fighting the patriarchy, one pant leg at a time.

Darcy Reeder
Family Matters

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Housewife Hell (Cropped) Photo by Marisa Howenstine on Unsplash

“Mama, why don’t you wear dresses every day?” my 4-year-old daughter asks me, as we cuddle on our ripped-up couch, reading a picture book full of bunnies in tutus.

I used to wear more dresses. Like my daughter, I love twirling in a skirt. I know the secret thrill of gazing at myself in a mirror, wearing something sparkly and flowy. I completely understand why she loves dresses.

So why don’t I wear them so much anymore?

It’s about — what else? — The Patriarchy.

Parenting — shopping for children’s clothes in gender-segregated sections, reading children’s books with almost entirely gender-stereotyped characters — has made me ultra-sensitive to the gender indoctrination children receive.

Despite my protestations, my kid receives cultural messages every day that girls are meant to look pretty and boys are meant to do things.

It wasn’t until she asked me why I don’t wear a dress very often that I realized I have gradually moved toward decidedly gender-neutral clothing as an unconscious protest against this gender indoctrination.

I still like to wear frilly stuff sometimes, but I want to be an example to all the budding…

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Darcy Reeder
Family Matters

Empathy for the win! Published in Gen, Human Parts, Heated, Tenderly —Feminism, Sexuality, Veganism, Anti-Racism, Parenting. She/They