Stop Pushing Your Children to Succeed
Motivate Them Instead
I am currently reading Edward Said’s memoir Out of Place. Said, a professor of literature at Columbia University, was the author of such books as Orientalism, Culture and Imperialism, and The Question of Palestine as well as Music at the Limits and On Late Style: Music and Literature Against the Grain . He was the only son of Wadie Said, a very wealthy businessman.
Edward’s father provided him with the best education, the best books, the best opportunities for travel, the best entertainment, the best clothes and toys. There were few material goods he was denied. Yet his relationship with his parents was complicated. His life was strictly regimented by his parents.
He was constantly criticized for his behavior, for his posture, for being lazy, for not practicing his scales on the piano, and for not paying attention. His father expected Edward to be an excellent sportsman as he had been. He also expected him to excel in school and to become a talented pianist.
If Edward failed to make an A in all his subjects, his parents forced him to spend more time studying. Each day after school he was made to work with tutors to improve his grades. He did not have any scheduled free time or playtime. Only very rarely was he allowed any time for himself.
