The Roots of Life That Blossom Love
The symbolic tree that we all need in our lives
Right after I graduated college, I embarked on one of the scariest experiences of my life. I left my hometown, my family and friends and everything that I knew, and moved to another country to be with the love of my life. I moved not knowing anyone besides my boyfriend, now husband, with only two extremely full suitcases and a zest for adventure and new beginnings.
Now having lived away from home for several years and experiencing motherhood in the last year myself, I’ve come to realize what family means to me.
Family is the symbolic tree we all need in our lives: its roots are firmly tethered to the ground, it needs certain things to grow and blossom, and new seeds can always be planted.
Roots are firmly tethered to the ground:
I was born into a very tight-knit Greek family. If you have seen the film, “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” you may know what I mean. Our identity is defined by our culture and family traditions. Those roots will always be part of me no matter where I am in the world.
When you have a family of your own, you grow your own roots and traditions. You have a blank canvas and you get to decide what you pass on to your child. I married someone from a different background and culture and with that comes letting go of some of the traditions that I shared with my family because he is not Greek.
However, it is still important for me to pass on those Greek roots to my daughter. I do this by teaching her Greek. Also, by celebrating family traditions such as Greek Easter with the dye of red eggs and cooking dishes together from my childhood. Cooking is a wonderful way to pass on family culture to your children.
The branches in the trees also grow in different directions. This means that each person in the family has their own direction that they take in life. It’s about the journey, not the destination. My branch took me to a whole new country, where my brother’s stayed close to home. We each found our own way while being binded by the same roots.
It needs certain things to grow
As an educator part of the science curriculum was to teach my students about living things. One of the lessons we learned was that plants, like trees, need three things to grow: soil/nutrients, water, and sunshine. Just like trees, family also needs certain things to grow and blossom into flowers.
Acceptance:
Family accepts you for who you are. They accept you for the good and bad — all your silly quirks and flaws. They know that you are not perfect and accept you anyway. If you can’t be yourself around them, it’s difficult for the tree to grow. It’s important to be honest and your most authentic self.
For the longest time I struggled with my self-confidence and identity and it was hard to be truly honest with my family as I wanted to create a certain image for them. With experience and maturity, I have learned to let go and trust that they will love me despite my imperfections.
Trust:
Once you have acceptance, there is trust. Trust is the key element in any successful relationship. You need to be able to trust your family and let them inside your heart. For many years I struggled with trusting people as I feared abandonment and disappointment.
The truth is that people in your family will disappoint you. They will make you hurt, frustrated, upset and elicit strong emotions from you. In order to move past that, you need to be able to forgive.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Kindness:
We need to be kind to each other. Kindness has the ability to mend any broken or wounded tree, and bring life back from a long hiatus. It is the magic that flows through us and is a vehicle for change.
Being kind to family helps the tree grow. This can be as simple as showing thoughtfulness and checking in on them or offering a listening ear during a time of need.
New seeds can always be planted:
In the last 8 years since we’ve lived here, I realized that family does not only equate to blood relatives. Family can transcend blood and include people who bring joy, love and comfort in your life.
People who are there for you through thick and thin, and accept you for your authentic self despite your imperfections. New seeds can be planted and different trees can grow.
I love and miss my family dearly back home and pre-covid we would fly back pretty often every year. I am also fortunate that I have made close friends here in the United States that I can call family as well.
There are friends who have been with me through many many different stages of my life that I am grateful for. They’ve been with me through pre-marriage, marriage and now with a baby.
Family is all around us. They are the roots in life that blossom love.
Not only do I have roots in my own family tree, but new roots with my own family tree are growing too. Glancing at my daughter, I can see my own family in her.
I see the fire and drive of my mother, the humor and wit of my brother, the assertiveness of my grandmother and the gentle eyes of my grandfather. It’s the spaces that lie between us that are filled with the personality traits, voices, and memories of our loved ones.
“Other things may change us, but we start and end with family”
— Anthony Brandt
Everyone’s family tree will look different. It is important to nurture and cultivate it in order for it to blossom and grow into something beautiful. It is not always easy and takes hard work. It can take months or even years to grow but it is always adapting and changing.
Life is pretty messy in itself and will beat you to the ground like you never imagined. One thing that is constant and will always be there no matter what shape, size or location, is family.
