Your Child Found Porn? Here’s How to Deal With It.
What to do when you find out your child’s been exposed to pornography online
Raising a teenager is difficult talks for anyone, even more so when you are fostering them! So what would you do if you found your teenager on porn? Maybe you loaded up the shared laptop and your internet browser wasn’t closed properly, then you see porn that was left open.
At first, you think “did I leave this open” then when you realise it straight porn, (those who didn't know, I'm gay) you then think maybe my other half, again gay, then at the point, the penny drops. You realise the child you are fostering is watching and searching for porn.
Now the question is did he go searching for it? Why isn’t my browsers childproofed? Did he hack into the operating system to bypass it? Nope, none of that, it was a very simple thing that I forgot to do, I left my account logged in as I left the house. He messaged me being like “Can I use your laptop” of course I was like yes go for it buddy, not realising. Life lesson, self lock your devices when they have not had any activity on them for a set period of time.
Pornography is everywhere
Whether we like it or not, children today will for all intents and purposes be exposed to pornography. It’s not a matter of if, but when in a big way. Preparing yourself now instead of waiting until it happens will actually help you get ahead of the situation in a definitely big way. But should we really stop them from searching for it as they get older?
What to do when you find out your child’s been exposed to pornography online.
- Stay calm. How you react to finding out that your child has viewed porn will be remembered far more than the material itself. Have a conversation, not a shouting match.
- Be supportive. Your child is probably unsure of how they feel about what they just witnessed. They may feel ashamed, or they may be curious. Understanding where your child is in terms of this content is key. As a parent or guardian, you want to be able to see through your child’s eyes. Being supportive is the only way to do this.
- Build trust while setting expectations. More than likely this is a journey and not a one-time experience. Let your child know how your family deals with this type of content. Fortunately, the relationship you have with your child is stronger than any content they’ve seen.
- Keep asking questions. Continuing the conversation over weeks, months, and years will be the best thing you can do. Check-in from time to time, and don’t shy away when the subject arises. This way, an awkward situation turns into an opportunity to strengthen communication with your child.
- Put filtering and monitoring systems in place. Don’t just put your head in the sand. The same technology that causes problems can also create solutions. There are amazing tools out there that not only block content but also let you know what your child is doing online. Put these in place now.
Over the coming weeks, I will be sharing ways you can install content management/blockers to your devices to help you try and protect your children.
The question to you, How would you or have you dealt with your child searching for porn?
