Survivor’s Log #5

Entry #5

Date: 20.03.20

Location: Vinohrady, Prague, Czech Republic (50°04'33.8"N 14°25'53.2"E)

Head count: 2 humans (seemingly uninfected), 1 dog (who will be lucky if I don’t turn him into a pillow by the end of the week)

Aslan is not a dog. Aslan is an agent of pure chaos, a spawn of Satan himself and an all-around not a cool dude. In the times when people have literal fights for toilet paper (like, physical fights with shouting and punching — which, as a side note, tells us a lot about the state of modern society) this furry asshole stole an entire roll of toilet paper, crawled under the bed and then ate all of it. ALL OF IT! Is the next step just straight up eating money? Seriously, it’s like that time when Pablo Escobar burned 2 million dollars to keep warm. But I have planned my revenge. Tomorrow I will wash him (Aslan, not Pablo Escobar) and we’ll see who’ll be the one laughing.

In other news apparently our neighbour is still alive because today he came to our door and brought us cookies! He is either the nicest neighbour ever or he knows he is ill and is afraid of dying alone, so he coughed on all of them so that we can die with him. Time will tell. We are planning to eat the cookies tomorrow.