Rookie Report: Getting the Hang of Things

This is the fourth in a series of columns where I’m documenting my “if you can’t beat ’em, join ‘em” journey from total sports apathy to — maybe — diehard fan, joining my very first fantasy football league. Read the first column here to see how I got into this mess.

When I last wrote, I had just gotten destroyed in my first week, but things have been looking up (sort of…) since.

In Week 2, I locked in my first victory in the league, 123.4 to 110.8, but it actually came as a surprise to me.

That Sunday, we watched a few games — this was a new experience for me. Sundays are for football now (who am I?). But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t proud to be able to explain parts of the game to someone else watching with us. I felt like I was really catching on.

Toward the end of Sunday night, I noticed I was still ahead in actual points but projected to lose. I only had Davante Adams left to play by that point, and unless he delivered big, my opponent’s three Monday players could catch up. But when I woke up Monday and checked the ESPN app I was psyched to see that Adams had delivered 23.9 points against the Seahawks, securing the win.

I suddenly felt way more invested, and I had this strange urge to talk trash and over-hype my fantasy skills. The transformation was happening…

In Week 3, the trend continued, with a solid 111.2 to 87.7 victory. This was due in large part to an insane 32.1 point game by Brandin Cooks, and Kirk Cousins putting up 26.8 against Oakland.

But this was also the week where I learned I had been streaming my D/ST without even knowing what that meant. (Fellow rookies, this is when you don’t hold onto someone in a certain slot, but basically keep picking the most favorable player from those available.) I pretended I’d been doing it intentionally, and not because I was desperate for points wherever I could get them to maintain my winning streak of one game…

Week 4 proved a bit more challenging, and I ended up losing, 99.2 to 105.4. Nothing remarkable happened, to be honest, and it seemed like I was just out-rostered on this matchup.

That said, this was the first week I really felt the pain of sit/start mistakes. I’d played Cousins instead of Andy Dalton based purely on projections, and Dalton ended up racking up eight more points from the comfort of my bench. I’d also hoped for more out of Cooks after last week’s performance, and was bummed to see a measly 7.2 points roll in, while Randall Cobb and his 14.4 points wasted away, sitting right next to Dalton on my bench.

Week 5 hit me hard, with the first week of BYEs showing me where my bench wasn’t as deep as it could be. (Fellow Rookies, BYE weeks are weeks off, so you have to swap out players who are off with others from your bench. Different teams/players have different BYE weeks.) I was up against someone who was 4–0, but the projections were close, so I had some hope.

But the hope fluttered away this morning. I woke up today mad at Tarik Cohen for earning a mere 1.7 points, but if Fantasy Twitter has taught me anything, it’s that these guys don’t care about my fantasy team and I should definitely not be ~mad online~ about how their actual game impacts my fantasy team.

That said, my TE Kyle Rudolph surprised me with a sweet 16.5 points, compared to my opponent’s 5.5 from D. Walker. It still wasn’t enough: I ended up losing 97.1 to 102.5.

As I get ready to start Week 6, I’m kind of excited: I’m matched up against my fiance, who got me into this mess to begin with. This should be interesting…

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