Amélie: Big Heart, Big Dreams, Big Anxieties
It’s not easy to make the dream a reality, even when it’s right within your grasp.
Occasionally, there comes along a film that moves me and resonates so deeply in my soul that I feel like it was made specifically for me. When I watched the French film Amélie for the first time over 20 years ago, I left the theater feeling seen; I was practically floating on air as I walked back to my car in the darkened parking lot as scenes from the movie replayed in my mind. This movie has left an undeniable mark on my heart to the point where it’s hard to even pinpoint how to speak about it, but I’ll give it my best shot.
Amélie Poulain, played by Audrey Tautou, is the ultimate dreamer. Believe me when I say that being a dreamer will break your heart. This is why the film has spoken to me for all of these years. I often find myself with my head in the clouds, daydreaming about how I want certain interactions to go, or how I wish I could act in certain scenarios, or just fantasizing about various adventures or previous happenings, which is exactly what Amélie does.
This sort of alternate reality that Amélie finds herself in started when she was a kid. The film shows a very lonely child who really only had her imagination and its creations to keep her company. As little Amélie deals with her mother’s neuroses and early death, as well her father’s lack of parental warmth, she has no choice but to turn inward for comfort and entertainment. Although I can’t relate to her relationships with her parents when she was a child, I can see myself in her childhood loneliness and the subsequent development of an overactive imagination.
Cut to adult Amélie. She’s a very likable person, and her coworkers seemingly want to be her friend, but her years of hiding away in her imagination has left her slightly stunted in the social realm of life. Her introvertedness leaves her with a small group of confidants, and also impedes her desire to break out of her shell. For instance, when she has a chance run-in with a guy, Nino, portrayed by Mathieu Kassovitz, she is fascinated from the get-go, but can’t seem to jump over her internal hurdles to express her attraction to him. Much like Amélie, I too have my introverted tendencies, especially when it comes to putting myself out there.
But, unlike Amélie, I am not a game player. A lot of the movie focuses on how Amélie tries to make other people’s lives better, and exacting subtle revenge on one particular wrong-doer in imaginative, elaborate, and scheming ways. I don’t have the time or creativity to partake in this type of behavior, but it’s funny and entertaining to watch, and I like to imagine doing some of my own crazy stunts, Amélie style.
The problem, though, is that Amélie is neglecting her own needs and desires and is in denial about how it is negatively impacting her life. Take, for example, her disabled neighbor, Mr. Dufayel, played by Serge Merlin. Amélie spends a lot of time with this elderly neighbor and discovers how stunted his life is. She goes to great lengths to create videos for him that show him different people across the globe, fun events, and life outside of his sheltered apartment in an attempt to connect him with the world. Dufayel, unlike the other people in her life, can see how badly Amélie wishes she could be brave, and he even calls her out about it.
The difference between Amélie and Dufayel is that he has no choice but to stay in his apartment because of his disability, Amélie is choosing to cut herself off at the legs, and that, to him, is unacceptable. I can understand Amélie’s fears of experiencing life outside of her bubble. The world can be a scary place, people can be cruel, and dreamer’s hearts are made to be broken.
Amélie is willing to go the distance for the people she cares about, but can’t do the same for herself. She restricts herself from letting her guard down with the people around her and keeps herself closed off. It’s easier for Amélie to remain tight lipped because there is security in playing your cards close to your chest. Case in point: she creates an elaborate game of cat and mouse with Nino because of her fear of rejection. I, too, have suffered from not being able to just let go and let flow.
When I think about the positive and negative qualities that Amélie has, it can feel like looking in a mirror. For all of her lovable quirkiness, care for others, and best intentions, she gets in her own way. All I can say is that it’s hard out here for us dreamers, feelers, and thinkers, but at least we have a movie that can let us know we are seen.
Also published on FarFromProfessional.com.
