Curtain Call

The AGS elite 6 take a bow after clinching playoff spots while the league’s commissioner suffers the degrading logo and name change.

In the dog ass heat of late summer, the agonizingly long offseason gave way to the glory and the pain of the 2022 NFL season, and where there’s real football, there are a million other folks dreaming of running the table with their fantasy football teams and winning it all in a game that means nothing more than everything to those who play and willingly suffer.

As patient as we fantasy football players have to be between the final whistle in the Super Bowl and the first kickoff of the new season, all the football played in the five months leading back to the Super Bowl shoots by in a blink.

Here we are now at the end of the season; in AGS, it’s the end of the road for two scrubby teams that couldn’t win enough games to qualify for even the consolation playoffs (Cebert Frogs and Palos Verdes Prime Time); the end of a shot at a title for the four mediocre to snake-bitten teams playing for a precious extra keeper next season(FU Pay Me, Who’s Coming in 2nd?, Penthouse Pimps, and Rudy’s Replacements); and the beginning of the end of the journey all the way to the top of the mountain for the six best teams in AGS this year (Ambassadors of Quan, The Curse, New Jax City, Rebel Scum, and The Sugandese).

There wasn’t much up for grabs in Week 14 beyond playoff seeding and pride, but the privilege of receiving an extremely offensive team logo and name change. Congratulations, Cebert Frogs!

Reactions to Week 14:

Nick: A comeback win for Rebel Scum to cap off the 10-game winning streak to end the season. No complaints.

Week 14 was a total display of balanced scoring up and down my roster. We knew the mission, we knew we had to play our best to beat one of the best teams in AGS this year, and we did it. I’m proud of the squad for keeping their foot on the gas after (Cooper) Kupp’s ankle fell off and winning every week.

We have two more wins to go!

Emmitt: Let me tell you something, it’s been 14 weeks of anxiety and Monday Night nail biters!!! I think I’ve gotten all that I could from XM radio and podcasts.

I’ve had too many close calls this year, and House of Rudy fell short this year, but after taking off a year, I’m solid with the season I had; also, there are still some goals to reach for consolation play. I’m still gunning for that 3rd keeper because I’m in the hole due to my midseason trade, but that’s next year’s dilemma.

Rudy, it’s not the playoffs that you want to be in, but it’s an opportunity to snag an extra pick and roll into next season with a decent foundation. How are you feeling about the consolation playoffs and your chances of winning?

Emmitt: I can finish at 8–8 and come out of this season with a little bit of accomplishment. It’s not the playoffs, and I’m not on a 10-game winning streak or anything General Scum! But I do want to wrap up and get some revenge on Jimmy (FU Pay Me), who upset me a few weeks ago. Rumors are that this is his last year playing, so I’d like to end his franchise respectfully.

Nick: 8–8 would be a respectable finish for your squad this year, coming off that hiatus you had last season. I think this matchup between you and Jimmy will be exciting, and sending him packing, if it’s his final season, would be something for the AGS record books.

Scum, you earned the #1 seed and the first round bye. Which one of those two things surprises you the most?

Nick: I guess it would be earning that #1 seed. For half the season, it looked like T. Ruth was going to lock that up and lock it up early. He was 8–2 going into Week 10, and he didn’t win another game the rest of the way. He finished 8–6.

Meanwhile, I’m working my way around injuries and bye weeks, sweating out MNF week-to-week because it seemed like every game I played wasn’t decided until the 4th quarter of the final game of the week. Getting those 10 wins wasn’t easy, and with this bye, I only need two more wins to get the job done. That won’t be an easy task.

Week15/Playoff Round 1 Predictions:

Emmitt: Even though Sugandese got into the playoffs in the last couple weeks, I got him beating The Curse because he’s been hotter than him as of late and Joey’s running backs (Walker III & Stevenson) got hurt. T.RUTH despite his slump will get past New Jax City.

As far as the Consolation goes, I’m going to beat FU Pay Me because it should have happened in Week 10. Herbert and his receivers are healthier than they’ve been this year, and Jacobs is still playing like the #1 running back as of late.

Nick: Love the confidence. Like I said earlier, your matchup with Jimmy is going to be exciting. You have more horses to carry you to the finish line first in this week’s race, so I like your chances. I think Penthouse Pimps cruises, so your Round 2, Consolation Playoff title game will be between Rudy’s Replacements and Penthouse Pimps.

In the actual playoffs, I think The Curse is going to pull off the win against Sugandese, but it’s going to be close. I like T. Ruth to pick up a win against NJC. I don’t think Mike White is going to play as well as NJC needs him to play, and some of his other matchups are less favorable than what T. Ruth’s roster has to face.



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Nick M. W.

Writer by night, publishing sloppy fiction and amateur entertainment media articles weekly.