Get Right
Emmitt Smith and Nick M. W.
“The journey is the dream.”
Nick: That’s some profound shit right there. The late great Kobe Bryant said that to Lakers fans the night they retired both of his numbers at the arena formerly known as Staples Center. The legend knew that it was the trials and tribulations he had to overcome on the way to greatness that made achieving his goals so damn sweet. I’m no legend. In AGS (our fantasy football league in case you missed it), I’m one of the few owners who hasn’t won a championship. Damn near a decade of caca, so when I mutter Kobe’s quote, it’s to remind myself that these are the moments in a season that make a champion: the pick-up after the loss. In my case, two straight losses, and in this particular case, a real heart-breaker — 155 points in defeat.
On the flip, my Week 4 opponent, none other than Rudy himself, danced his magical ass to his first victory of the season with 162 points on the board. He pulled me down to the cellar with him, a limp 1–3 record after the first quarter of the season, and it’s here in a relatively familiar spot that I grovel with the dregs.
Emmitt: “Got to score ten to get on the board!” The rules of dominoes depending how you play. You gotta throw down a score of ten just to get your name on the scoreboard; once that is done, you can start to actually rack up points. With my miraculous win after last night’s Monday Night Football straight up brawl, that’s what the first win of the AGS season feels like! My defense answered the call for the Replacements. Big uso Talanoa Hufanga came through with the pick-6 to seal the slugfest win!
Nick: It was a bunch of fuck-shit, and it took a matter of seconds to flip what felt like a slim victory for Rebel Scum into a an erection inducing win for Rudy’s Replacements. A day after I lose one of my running backs, I get my heart ripped out Mola Ram style.
Biggest surprise of the week:
Nick: The Hock. 38 points is a great day for any player. When your tight end drops that many points on any given Sunday, it usually means a win. Usually.
Emmitt: The obvious surprise for this powerhouse of a week will go down in Rudy history and forever be known as “The Night of the Hufanga.” I needed the 49ers to slow down Cooper Kupp* somehow going into the game up by 3. What is also to my surprise was my Replacements winning in a dramatic MNF win!
What disappointed you the most about your coaching this week, Nick?
Nick: No joke, I spent several days thinking about myFLEX spo. Who’s in? Who’s out? Who had the better matchup? Chris Olave was going to get a bunch of extra targets, but the Red Rifle was going to be slinging it, not Famous Jameis, and that right there scared me enough to keep his ass on the bench. Javonte Williams was going to get enough carries and surely a goal-line opportunity. He was going to catch some passes, maybe break one off. Oh, and he was going to get hurt. Who the hell can call that? I should’ve known better than to ignore my first instinct.
The good news is that I don’t have to have that debate anymore. Next man up. Olave going deep. Touchdowns!
How do you build on the momentum of such a wild win, Rudy?
Emmitt: There will be no Replacements put on the trading block, no proposed trades, and I’ll keep doing the research. With my record at 1–3, my patience has to be at its best with every passing week. Hell, I’m trending up in the rankings compared to any of the other 1–3 teams, so just as long as I stay away from the injury bug, unlike the first two weeks, I should be battle-tested from here on out.
How do you not pack it up right now, Scum?
Nick: Look, nearly half our league is 1–3 (5 out of 12 teams). Four teams are 2–2. Two are undefeated, and one is 3–1. After Week 5, the AGS landscape could look a lot different. The majority of the league could be 2–3. It’s early, and my team is good. We’ll put it all together at just the right time.
Predictions for your Week 5 matchup?
Emmitt: I face the defending champion, The Sugandese! Another rough matchup for me that should be high scoring, just like last week. My schedule is freaking brutal now that I think about it. I still have to play Jamon’s T. RUTH squad, with his undefeated record as of now. However, my prediction is that I come out of this matchup with a convincing win due to my receivers bouncing back from not doing much last week.
Nick: I have the pleasure of going up against Señor Froggy this week. This is another interesting matchup every year. No doubt I’m wearing most of the “L’s” in our overall record, but a lot of those teams Froggy beat up on were bad. I’ve put up better competition the last couple of years and pulled some clutch wins. It’ll be another close matchup this week. Gotta get the win because 1–4 is a mother-effing problem.
- Kupp still managed 22 points without scoring a touchdown.
