Bring on the Eggnog
How Beaning My Neighbors With Candy Beat the Christmas Blues
Combating Isolation During the Holidays
It seems like the last few years I’ve had to dig deeper and deeper for that elusive ‘Christmas spirit.’
Granted, it’s been a rough couple of years. My long-standing business, which I had built my entire self identity around, has been in a slow-motion death spiral. It finally gasped and expired. My mother died and this will be now the third Christmas without her crazy brand of bossy insanity driving me to distraction. My dad has a new girlfriend and is rarely around anymore, and was, honestly, never a real demonstrative guy in the first place.
My two children are teenagers. While Christmas shopping has become a lot less time-consuming, Christmas morning is anti-climatic with just the one ‘expensive’ present to open.
Yes, Christmas traditions have changed a lot in the ‘Farmer Georgie’ family and quite honestly, I have not been quite sure what to make of it.
Plus, I’ve deep-dived into a new freelancing career. Let’s face it, being a freelancer can be isolating. From the safety of my couch and kitchen table, I’m exploring new worlds, learning new skills and making thousands of new friends and connections. That’s exciting. But the people I meet? They’re all just a profile shot on a screen, clever words in a direct message, a voice across the phone or sometimes, when we get real adventuresome, a face on a zoom meeting.
We have all read the studies. High online usage correlates to feelings of isolation and loneliness. It’s such a juxtaposition. We’re ‘connected’ more now than ever — yet lonely. For myself, and I believe many others, the holidays heighten those feelings which most of us are pretty good at holding at bay.
Honestly, I didn’t realize how bad it had gotten until I accidentally ended up on a Christmas float in a town parade beaning my neighbors with candy.
I had gone into town on an errand, just before the annual town “Christmas Greening” parade got underway. I was driving by the float line-up and happened to run into an old friend. He was there representing a local shellfish farm. Their parade float was one of their boats, decorated in wreaths and Christmas decor. They needed more ‘candy tossers.’ Could I stay and help out? Sure, what the hell.
So I climbed aboard and for the next 20 minutes, rolled slowly down small-town Main Street and on a festively-decorated boat, yelling “Merry Christmas” and obliterating the parade-goers with candy.
It was cathartic.
The first few hundred yards, I was nice, I tossed the candy right in front of their feet and yelled: “You’ve got to work for it!” Then I accidentally showered a group of seniors with Smarties. Their look of startled delight was a revelation. I got brave and beaned a gruff-looking biker dude with a mini-box of Dots right in the chest.
He grabbed it, laughed and yelled “Merry Christmas.” After that, it was game on.
My float mates quickly joined the fun. Our Christmas float-boat was soon a self-created candy storm. The kids, of course, loved it. It was Dodge Ball, with candy.
My best moment was when I spotted an old friend on the side and obliterated her with rapid-fire shots of Starbursts, Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups and Skittles. As we passed her by she yelled “Merry Christmas!” and beaned me in the back of the head with a mini-bag of Twizzlers.
The crowd was fighting back!
The entire thing bordered the line of good sense. And was a hell of a good time. I laughed, yelled and felt ‘part’ of something. Even if that something was completely ridiculous.
That universal ‘human connection’ that we all need can be as simple as engaging together in raucous silliness.
By the end of the parade, we were candy less and I was in a better mood than I had been in for weeks. I called my husband and invited him out for a Christmas cheer drink. Because, why the hell not?
Eggnog all around people! It’s Christmas!
Farmer Georgie is a Pacific Northwest writer and journalist. Her (mostly) non-fiction work runs the gamut of genres but generally explores food, farming and rural, small-town American life. Newsletter at farmergeorgiewrites.substack.com
