Blonde Delicacies
Sulte skittered back to the kitchen. She was certain she’d found a perfect specimen for head chef Wiley. She was crazy about the chef, wanted to impress him and wanted desperately to win his heart. Tap tottering with excitement she asked him to come to the dining room. Wiley loathed leaving the kitchen but he grabbed a knife and followed. He hulked in the shadows, careful to remain unnoticed. He eyed his dining room, his brunch menu had drawn a crowd, folks from across the county raved about his unique and delicious dishes. His eyes then followed Sulte’s thorny dance as she delivered her customer’s drink orders, she spilled most of the liquid on the way there, but managed to keep the customers dry. Then, she jerked her head toward the intended prey. An adult Blonde. Natural. Delicious. Normally, adults were bottle blondes, true natural blondes where typically children and while he had no qualms about children, they presented so many logistical difficulties. He stood transfixed, sizing up the Blonde, scheming recipes and pairing wines.
Sulte was natural at spotting naturals, two weeks ago, she tripped over a delectable and very rare, Deep Auburn. Wiley had grown to depend on her skill. Sulte’s pointy fingers scratched his hand when she brought him the Blonde’s food ticket. Her touch sent an involuntary chill up his arm. At times he could barely contain himself, wetting his pudgy lips with desire for her sharp angles and jerky sways. He was a principled man, as her boss he would try not to act on his feelings. Her giant eyes glittered with pride when he nodded his approval of the Blonde. For a moment, she stood stock still and fixated on the shiny scar tissue running up the entire side of his face and wondered how it would feel to caress it. Her stare burned him, he snapped her out of her fugue by clearing his throat and rumbled, “Deliver the coupon Sulte, excellent job. Er, thank you.”
Sulte startled her customers when she popped up at their table bearing a coupon for a free spa day. She spoke to the Blonde, “Con-grat-ulations! You’ve been selected from our ran-dom drawing! Present this coupon at our ex-clusive Farrago day spa and receive your complimentary facial, hair cut, wax and mani/pedi pack-age!”
The Blonde, Karen, looked at her boyfriend, Jason with raised brows. A free day spa package! Oblivious to the ominous, she didn't see he was creeped out. He rolled his eyes, sighed and said, “I’ll check out and drive back to town, get some groceries. Text me when you’re done.” In truth, he was itching to leave. His skin still crawled from his early morning tryst with Alice Chown, what had possessed him to want that woman (thing?) The memory would rape his dreams long after his death.
Sulte ran and notified Novelia. Novelia hung the sign, aired out the ‘spa,' prepped the stations, sharpened shears, warmed wax and heated towels. She brewed Wiley’s spa tea. All was agleam beneath the shadows when Karen arrived. Meticulous preparation of the Blonde ensued. Wiley insisted on chemical free clean. Organic shampoo, a thorough scrub, no conditioner. Karen laughed out loud when Novelia placed the Carol Wright cutting umbrella over her head (shop here!) to trap her hair trimmings.
Each fingernail meticulously scoured and cut with care, much too short for Karen’s liking, but Novelia’s touch was magic. She opted out of nail polish because she liked neither black or blood red. Novelia cooed over Karen’s large toes and masterfully scrubbed Karen’s feet and toe nails to a glowing clean. Her feet were then transferred to a separate tub, filled with a warm Farrago spa exclusive lemon zest infusion. Toe nails carefully snipped and collected, heels and soles exfoliated, dead skin soaked in the tub.
Using Wiley’s specially formulated thyme infused body wax, every removed strip was carefully placed in a clean tray. No bikini waxing, Wiley was old fashioned and adamant about this. Finally the facial. First, a warm cup of Wiley’s special tea. Hot towels, then Novelia’s magic hands, pure relaxation, calm and finally, a deep drugged sleep.
Sulte entered to Karen’s peaceful beathing, locked the door behind her and set about her work. Sulte didn’t especially enjoy this, but Wiley needed what he needed, and he expected it fresh. She delivered all prime parts of the Blonde to the kitchen. Delicacies that Wiley used for his award winning dishes. She swallowed a moan when Wiley rubbed his belly. He grinned, deeply in his element, with sharp knives, grinder and strainer at the ready.
The grinder processed the hair trimmings to a fine powder, perfect for his savory meat dishes. Sulte melted Wiley’s thyme infused wax, straining the delicate body hair that Wiley would puree, then dry, to fortify the flour for his famous dinner rolls. Wiley hummed as he minced the nail clippings he’d pickle then use to add texture to his chutney and his splendid encrusted liver fillets. Finally, the dead skin, strained from the pedi tub marinade, was blended to a soft cream, a perfect touch for his mayonnaise and hollandaise.
In the spa, Karen awakened, energized, refreshed and a solid fan of the spa. Sulte skittered back to the kitchen with the news, the Blonde scheduled another appointment! The Blonde had to wait three weeks for her next appointment because the spa was “booked solid.” (they had to allow time for her crops to replenish). Novelia packaged complimentary vitamins and minerals, she held the package up in a limp hand and said in her saccharine sultry voice, “Why don’t we talk about a membership, I can offer you a fantastic deal…”
